Working the graveyard shift usually sucks Golden Retriever dick, but it's not entirely absent of perks. During my tenure at the 24 hour Rite Aid, I enjoyed a 10% increase in pay and unadulterated access to the ice cream station. But as for complimentary blowjobs from tresspassing prostitutes... that one's all up to this smooth talking Apu.
1,670,132 | 2.19.12 | TG | LULZ
UPDATE: this girl actually emailed me, here's the background story - she lives in a KKK-laden town where 12 inch black wangs are the forbidden fruit. Undeterred, she sought salvation on blackplanet.com and ultimately bit off more BBC than her vagina could chew. Here's some pics she sent me: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
6,483,264 | 2.17.12 | | Amateur
This girl has 1 of the nicest racks I've ever seen. But bundle that with an extremely frigid personality & you then have the biggest disappointment since Macaulay Culkin's The Pagemaster. Seriously, this chick's so uptight she wont even do a facial. It's tragic. FULL VIDEO HERE.
4,875,348 | 2.6.12 | Anonymous | Porn Bloopers
Pug-faced Hispanic drinks herself so numb she doesn't even notice when last night's chimichanga is hanging halfway out her asshole. Her laugh is as bad as her hygiene. Sounds like something Steven Urkel would emit while making love to the dude from Wonder Years. Watch this one all the way through. Full videos HERE and HERE.
3,271,006 | 2.2.12 | Anonymous | Porn Bloopers
There's only one thing more futile that trying to bust a nut while watching reruns of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - and that's attempting to win an argument against a porn director whilst esophagus-deep in cock. Two boners up for the effort. Download the full video HERE.
2,296,849 | 1.31.12 | Anonymous | LULZ
This girl has an emotional breakdown immediately following a facial. I initially assumed the obvious - dude must love his jumbo asparagus. But upon a 2nd viewing, I spotted a wedding band on the left hand. This is the part where I'm supposed to call her a whore. Personally, I'd rather just comfort her and smell her butt. I'm romantic like that. Full vid HERE.
5,715,934 | 1.26.12 | Dylan | LULZ
If there's one thing that never fails to get a fuckload of clicks - it's videos of unexpected butt love. So here's 8 of em. That's right, EIGHT, as in the number of times I defecated after eating crab wontons at P.F. Changs. Enjoy. SOURCES: #1, #2, #4, #5, #6, #8.
5,294,798 | 1.23.12 | TG | Wrong Hole
Meet 20 year old Destiny. She has a knack for stuffing household products up her sweet sweet shithole, and thanks to the head honcho over @ isanyoneup.com, 2 new items just made the list - Odor Eaters Foot Spray and her brother's antiperspirant. HAHA. Profile HERE.
2,887,604 | 1.18.12 | Anonymous | Insertions
Check her twat at the 1.55 mark. After no more than 15 seconds of diddling her clit, shit becomes the Niagra Falls of vaginal discharge. Camera dude says it's cum. I have 5 bucks and case of diet Mr. Pibb that says it's forgotten creampie from yesteryear. Full video HERE + HERE
3,869,503 | 1.14.12 | Kent | LULZ
What's life's greatest mystery? god? aliens? why Lionsgate allows Tyler Perry to continue directing films? How about how the fuck this 46 year old poster boy for NAMBLA managed to pull a Russian model half his age, only to vow abstinence for half a fucking decade? Full video HERE and more HERE.
2,765,867 | 1.6.12 | Anonymous | Virgins
I've always enjoyed the finer things in life, namely the Wendy's Cheddar Lover's Bacon cheeseburger, Cuba Gooding Jr. films and watching twats get used up like a Stretch Armstrong doll. Just watch. SOURCES: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #11, #12, #13.
3,938,775 | 12.31.11 | Sewer | Insertions