Nevermind the fact that he looks like he lost his virginity to a Hulk Hogan body pillow. I just wanna know why he went for The Baltimore Handshake when another $20 would have gotten him fast-lane access to clam city.
LIFE LESSON #237: If someone uses the word negotiable in their Craigslist ad - move the fuck on to the next one or prepare to doomsday prep on Valtrex & Clorox bleach. Discounts are temporary. War-torn genitals arent.
Bitch looks like Velma Dinkly crossbred with a piece of asparagus and has deflated whoopie cushions for tits to boot - how does life get any worse? Becomming a communal sex toy for the YMCA. That's how. Parts 2-6
How does one earn such a title? First, be Serenity Haze. Then sign up for porn. Then refuse to do porn stuff. Finally, accuse the producer of rape and get caught lying over and over. [Full Scene + Much Better One's: HERE]
He may be mentally challenged and physically deformed to the point of handicap, but he's had a threesome and I haven't. A true inspiration to all and possibly the anti-hero our generation needs. Full Vidz: HERE and SONG.
Lookout world. This woman has cousins. She also has an aunt that's employed at Circus Circus. Keep these 2 pivotal details in mind, for it's the closest to a clue you're gonna get as to what the fuck is wrong with this psychotic cum dumpster. Discuss here + more trainwrecks here.
To fully appreciate this, first watch part 1 + part 2. This guy isn't just any mope. This is Corn - the likely autistic, positively virgin pornstar that partook in 114 bukkake shoots, 113 of which the beneficary of his cumshot was a cement wall. Starting to understand the significance of the title? Good, now discuss here. Full videos here + here + here.
Bittersweet painal, obscenity-filled ogasms, and a boob job pre-dating the birth of jesus. This ones got it all, and Ms. Big Ole Leathery Funbags earns some serious bonus points at the 2:35 mark.. Not even a fuckin rectal injury can dull her desire for ATM. FULL 40 MINUTE VIDEO HERE.
Over 40 bukkake shoots and the closest this dude's come to delivering a facial was the time he soiled himself in a dark corner. But today's a game changer. Via the aid of a compassionate fluffer, this orange-haired bastard finally gets a legitimate taste of manhood. Full video HERE.
Bukkake is pretty straight forward. Aim for the face and let the protein shake rip. Easy peasy, unless of course you're a 300 pound ginger named Corn. 40 attempts and the best this gluten can do is make a wet spot in the corner. Fucking hilarious. More epic bukkake bloopers HERE.
After a cockless decade of lonely nights, Granny is back in action. She's a wee bit senile (The Exorcist comes to mind), but lucky for Billy her pole-riding skills haven't withered quite as badly as the rest of her. She can actually recite your name in a dozen different frequencies as she works the cock. Pretty impressive for a senior citizen.
Ever meet a girl who liked to make out directly after sucking your dick and/or swallowing your load? Kinda faggoty right? Here's how to combat this atrocious trend: Toss your girls salad and get some flavor going. Then grab on to your lady's face and forcefully make out with her. Don't let her squirm away. It's imperative that she has a taste of her own medicine.