Most erections won't make it past that hobgoblin in the second video, but trust me - it gets better. Not season 4 into season 5 Game of Thrones better. More like final episode "thank fuck this is over, I need to shower this stink off me" better.
My tenure in pornography has made witness to a lot of hopeless girls doing a lot of hopeless shit just to keep their Tampax bills paid. But essentially giving your fellow camstitutes the green light to cry their way to Efukt superstardom? That's a level of loyalty I didn't even know I wanted.
Consider this the advanced users only section of the Internet. And nothing spells T-A-C-T-I-C-A-L A-D-V-A-N-T-A-G-E quite like a woman that could literally use a Volkswagen Golf as a dildo. If you're not into safe spaces being invaded... this one isn't for you. [MORE HERE]
Women nowadays are too scared to coast through a Dunkin Donuts drivethru without glazing their faces in 20 minute Youtube makeup tutorials. And then there's these girls... who ran out of fucks to give a long time ago.
Food Reviewers: Some do it because they found a way to monetize gluttony. Others, just want that sweet mcnugget sponsorship. And then there's Bruce. A man with enough F-tier hate fuck material to earn the Gordon Ramsey seal of approval. Feel free to tweet this video out @WENDY'S. I'd like their input on this. SOURCE
Blue-balled midgets, schizophrenic autists, Miley Cyrus' fan base... this woman's sexual clientele is more well-rounded than IHOP's farmhouse breakfast. Unfortunately there's no visuals of penetration. But what it lacks in nightmares... it makes up for in California's voting pool.
Don't let the confidence in her voice fool you: This cholita's ability to withstand pain is about as real as her soggy pancakes in a pushup bra. As illustrated by his first, second and 17th attempt to keep a decent rhythm in her poo canoe. The end result? Well... you'll see. [SOURCE]
As if the second amendment wasn't under enough criticism right now, we're gonna add a new dynamic: Introducing the Felons And Gangsters Movement. It's not quite left. It's not quite right. But dammit, California is going to need new tourism commercials ASAP.
Want irrefutable proof that brains can literally be fucked out? Look no further my skeptical amigos. Meet Sky Avery. A special kind of girl that clearly needs more than one demonstration to learn her lesson. There will be no hat trick.
There's just no going back after making a video like this. She'll be forever known as the degenerate that got famous for rawdogging a South Park character. She's essentially a walking, talking Twitter activist for borderless sexuality... and yet stays in semi-boner material territory. An enigma, if you will.
Slutty teenage girls make the porn world go round... but only 18 and 19 year olds. The other teens are a unforgivable life ruining crime. So let's see what happens when the brave lad at "faketaxi" finds himself in a precarious predicament.
Most erections won't make it past the fact that this Snorlax shovels in 5,000 calories per day - and trust me, it doesn't get better. Congratulations Tammy you've officially outdone Game of Thrones for most offensive climax of 2019. Fire up one of those burrito milkshakes, today we celebrate.
Seriously, don't laugh at this. Even if your soul is more decayed than Robert De Niro's asshole after a spirited brunch at Del Taco, it should still tell you that giggle time is officially cancelled. That is, until we get an official statement from her father lol. [SONG 1, 2] [MORE]
Discounted Rice-a-Roni, a Dwayne Johnson body massage and joining a Chick-fil-A protest: All things I'd willingly commit to before slapping a ring on Jasmine Bryne. Pay attention boys and remember: One day it could be half of YOUR Amiibo collection. [full scene] [song one] [song two]
Internet webcam hooker Bella Alice appears to suffer from acute reflex seizures triggered by sexual climax. She also uses a sound activated dildo that vibrates when people tip her which is funny af. [Watch Bella: HERE] [Song: HERE]
Deep inside a dilapidated trailer decorated with street signs and rebel flags, a couple of questionable relations makes mouth coitus until something goes very wrong. This mishap, according to the camera man, is the greatest thing he has ever fucking seen.
Hand's down the most disturbing thing I've seen Asian women do (this week) since accidentally loading a buzzfeed article about NYC's dating scene. And much like that editorial, spending more than 5 minutes in the same room as one of these creatures may cause permanent damage. Prince didn't die for this. [SONG] [SONG]
I can't imagine how many family gatherings have been derailed thanks to the conversation that followed wearing one of these beauties to dinner. How the fuck are you supposed to multitask keeping grandma vertical AND explain this? Spoiler alert: You can't. A choice must be made.