Not exactly urging bloodflow to my nether regions when your displaying enough roast beef to open a butcher shop. BIG WARNING: This might trigger all 4 of my vegan users.
This is all but guaranteed to eradicate any story you may have been led to believe about how hard it is to bang an established pornstar. Don't be misled by this man's total lack of enthusiasm: Your hunt of commissioned snapper begins now.
Another one of those videos where erections are left with more questions than answers. How is this possible? How many trips to the zoo did it take to reach this point? And what is her Venmo name?
Not since the release of The Human Centipede have I seen a person's genitals put into such a 1-sided battle. She actually agrees to fuck the Terminator of ass rippage, cries legitimate tears and has a stage-walkoff that would make Kanye blush.
Most erections won't make it past that hobgoblin in the second video, but trust me - it gets better. Not season 4 into season 5 Game of Thrones better. More like final episode "thank fuck this is over, I need to shower this stink off me" better.
Here it is: The grand finale in a long line of degenerates who value their integrity less than that chicken sandwich everyone is getting german suplexed over. Especially the last clip. I haven't seen determination like that since the Epstein Didn't Kill Himself meme.
Interact with barely legal girls that obey every one of your wishes and desires. Yes, even the one that needs a Dalek and has an intolerance to mayonnaise. All for the price of a Paris Hilton autograph - $ZERO.
This is a look into a pagan sex cult turned rock band called "RockBitch". A sex commune living in a monastery that created a music and stage show that's kinda like a feminist rage against the machine meets an all out orgy. More Info HERE
I've seen this configuration before. Okinawa birth certificate, Chevy-Silverado endurance. I'd refer to Alexa for a proper translation, but Amazon hasn't released the Aspergers DLC yet so you're just gonna have to fill in the blanks yourselves, compadres.
My tenure in pornography has made witness to a lot of hopeless girls doing a lot of hopeless shit just to keep their Tampax bills paid. But essentially giving your fellow camstitutes the green light to cry their way to Efukt superstardom? That's a level of loyalty I didn't even know I wanted.
Consider this the advanced users only section of the Internet. And nothing spells T-A-C-T-I-C-A-L A-D-V-A-N-T-A-G-E quite like a woman that could literally use a Volkswagen Golf as a dildo. If you're not into safe spaces being invaded... this one isn't for you. [MORE HERE]
Food Reviewers: Some do it because they found a way to monetize gluttony. Others, just want that sweet mcnugget sponsorship. And then there's Bruce. A man with enough F-tier hate fuck material to earn the Gordon Ramsey seal of approval. Feel free to tweet this video out @WENDY'S. I'd like their input on this. SOURCE
Blue-balled midgets, schizophrenic autists, Miley Cyrus' fan base... this woman's sexual clientele is more well-rounded than IHOP's farmhouse breakfast. Unfortunately there's no visuals of penetration. But what it lacks in nightmares... it makes up for in California's voting pool.
Don't let the confidence in her voice fool you: This cholita's ability to withstand pain is about as real as her soggy pancakes in a pushup bra. As illustrated by his first, second and 17th attempt to keep a decent rhythm in her poo canoe. The end result? Well... you'll see. [SOURCE]
As if the second amendment wasn't under enough criticism right now, we're gonna add a new dynamic: Introducing the Felons And Gangsters Movement. It's not quite left. It's not quite right. But dammit, California is going to need new tourism commercials ASAP.
Want irrefutable proof that brains can literally be fucked out? Look no further my skeptical amigos. Meet Sky Avery. A special kind of girl that clearly needs more than one demonstration to learn her lesson. There will be no hat trick.
There's just no going back after making a video like this. She'll be forever known as the degenerate that got famous for rawdogging a South Park character. She's essentially a walking, talking Twitter activist for borderless sexuality... and yet stays in semi-boner material territory. An enigma, if you will.
Anybody have the technical name for this phenomenon? or a real explanation? Specifically one that doesn't involve voodoo dolls, Penn & Teller or Planet Wing's suicide sauce. I want answers.
Slutty teenage girls make the porn world go round... but only 18 and 19 year olds. The other teens are a unforgivable life ruining crime. So let's see what happens when the brave lad at "faketaxi" finds himself in a precarious predicament.
Most erections won't make it past the fact that this Snorlax shovels in 5,000 calories per day - and trust me, it doesn't get better. Congratulations Tammy you've officially outdone Game of Thrones for most offensive climax of 2019. Fire up one of those burrito milkshakes, today we celebrate.
Seriously, don't laugh at this. Even if your soul is more decayed than Robert De Niro's asshole after a spirited brunch at Del Taco, it should still tell you that giggle time is officially cancelled. That is, until we get an official statement from her father lol. [SONG 1, 2] [MORE]
Pretty much the most perplexing acts of genital manipulation I've witnessed since marathoning all 47 volumes of SSBBW Ivy and Friends Videos. My voice matters today more than ever before.
Discounted Rice-a-Roni, a Dwayne Johnson body massage and joining a Chick-fil-A protest: All things I'd willingly commit to before slapping a ring on Jasmine Bryne. Pay attention boys and remember: One day it could be half of YOUR Amiibo collection. [full scene] [song one] [song two]
I can't imagine how many family gatherings have been derailed thanks to the conversation that followed wearing one of these beauties to dinner. How the fuck are you supposed to multitask keeping grandma vertical AND explain this? Spoiler alert: You can't. A choice must be made.
