Contrary to her appearance, lead-role acting isn't really this girl's specialty. Her BA in theater was more wasted than a Chinese man's pension check in a casino. But all of that's okay when you can see 360 degrees at all times.
A coworker at Marty's Meat Market once told me she used the side of White Claw can to pleasure herself. She claimed the feeling of her deep-dish pepperoni bowl being grinded made her cum without warning. Is... is that what's going on here?
You can brag about your bowling ball-sized meat pouch all you want - If it's not being used it to turn white vagina into a side of Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes, it's about as useful as a hot shower to this science experiment.
This is what happens when the camscam ecosystem starts getting too much free market competition. Boundaries are pushed, Bloodlines are comprimised - all because some goofy little token gremlin couldn't follow protocol.
Say hello to your new idol. He's a recent graduate from the WWE school of acting for the mentally challenged and still manages to pull more suburban MILF poon then a 4-starred gynecologist on YELP. This particular desperate housewife is a prime example of why you should always FYD. [MORE]
First time I've seen a wife rental video where the girl and her hired gun are left more humiliated than the husband. 7 1/2 inches of New Orlean's finest essentially left them completely mute, save for some sobbing that is usually reserved for the customer service desk at Lululemon. Hilarious.
That's it man. As far as I'm concerned vegans have officially jumped the plant-based shark. Not even at the height of one of my patented Acid Trip + Red Lobster Biscuit wombo combo benders did I envision something as despicable as this going behind a paywall. More HERE and HERE. [SONG]
It's been 14 years of Efukt, so trust me when I say I know talent when I see it. Meet siswet. A girl that has cultivated a million Chaturbate followers by using her asshole to inhale anything without a birth certificate. I'm talking the Kirby of butt stuff and there's no fucking end in sight.
Imagine a community with no rules except "all the vag you can grab for the affordable price of $0". And it's not even behind the dumpster at a Floridian Denny's. Consider signing up - you'd be helping both Efukt and the war of butt AIDS.
Here it is. Round 2 in what is arguably the most offensive thing you can do in public besides mothershipping the handicap stall at Baskin Robbins. But unlike those shit gremlins - these titans of societal norms actually film the entire thing. [SONG]
Guys coming up short, Increasing Japan's tourism, Why not to go organic, Offending white college students and Incredible acts of self-reliance. This compilation covers more bases than Harvey Weinstein during a 3-day trip to the Bahamas. [ 0, 1, 2, 3, 4]
Imagine that. A girl with 2 first names doing trailer park things and the footage coming back to bite her in the cornhole. Around these parts we call this phenomenon "Monday Afternoon". But for Mary Beth Haglin, she's gonna need another 90 days to think about a sequel lol. [SONG] [MORE OF HER PORN]
7 samples into a hot dog warming party goes horribly wrong when one rogue cowboy says fuck all to the rules and slings his gentleman juice around like he's in the handicap stall at Country Buffet. The result is a crash course on Plan-B and why IQ tests need to be mandatory in porn. [More Here]
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well - Live, Learn and Burn.
A special "BRUH" moment for clip #4. I honestly haven't seen a woman that concerned since I test ran the floor units in Home Depot's toilet bowl section after White Castle started selling their burgers by the hundreds. Let's just say I'm not allowed to improve my house again until 2027. TAKE IT AWAY CORPSEGRINDER.
Poor prosti gets sandbagged by a local gentleman who's only sexual experience involves Walmart's checkout line & Colt 45. But apparently her dugout is built for the major leagues, cause despite his John McLane ingenuity... she still walks away with a smile. Fucking amazing.
My gut tells me the chances of a normal human being attempting this is right up there with Joy Behar being medicated during business hours. But I do find the authentic pleasure she has when making foot-to-vulva contact kind of endearing. [MORE]
Here it is: The grand finale in a long line of degenerates who value their integrity less than that chicken sandwich everyone is getting german suplexed over. Especially the last clip. I haven't seen determination like that since the Epstein Didn't Kill Himself meme.
This is a look into a pagan sex cult turned rock band called "RockBitch". A sex commune living in a monastery that created a music and stage show that's kinda like a feminist rage against the machine meets an all out orgy. More Info HERE
I've seen this configuration before. Okinawa birth certificate, Chevy-Silverado endurance. I'd refer to Alexa for a proper translation, but Amazon hasn't released the Aspergers DLC yet so you're just gonna have to fill in the blanks yourselves, compadres.
My tenure in pornography has made witness to a lot of hopeless girls doing a lot of hopeless shit just to keep their Tampax bills paid. But essentially giving your fellow camstitutes the green light to cry their way to Efukt superstardom? That's a level of loyalty I didn't even know I wanted.
Consider this the advanced users only section of the Internet. And nothing spells T-A-C-T-I-C-A-L A-D-V-A-N-T-A-G-E quite like a woman that could literally use a Volkswagen Golf as a dildo. If you're not into safe spaces being invaded... this one isn't for you. [MORE HERE]
I can't imagine how many family gatherings have been derailed thanks to the conversation that followed wearing one of these beauties to dinner. How the fuck are you supposed to multitask keeping grandma vertical AND explain this? Spoiler alert: You can't. A choice must be made.