After bulldozing 50% of Detroit's prostis, our man finally broke unfamiliar ground: A woman in it for the BBC, not crackrock... and a dedicated one at that. That butthole took more abuse than a fully charged EBT card at KFC.
Nevermind the fact that he looks like he lost his virginity to a Hulk Hogan body pillow. I just wanna know why he went for The Baltimore Handshake when another $20 would have gotten him fast-lane access to clam city.
LIFE LESSON #237: If someone uses the word negotiable in their Craigslist ad - move the fuck on to the next one or prepare to doomsday prep on Valtrex & Clorox bleach. Discounts are temporary. War-torn genitals arent.
Sad to see how camscamming has gone from "side gig" to "a race to see who can park a Kia Soul up their twat first". Then again... when your target demographic is people that consider hotdog water a cologne, you gotta be ready to adapt. Consider this bitch the Dave Grohl of CamSoda. [More Camwhores]
Watch as emo Helga Pataki dirty talks Jimmy Noodle Legs during a hot coitus session. Turns out Jenny from Forest Gump isn't the only suicidal slut down for banging immobilized mental midgets. Full Scene.
The name "Big Bertha" comes from a giant Pre-Nazi German war cannon that would lob 1,800 lb explosive shells into shit like France and Belgium. It also happens to look like this bitches dick. [SCENE / SONG]
These porn producers, always so preoccupied with if they could, but never stopping to wonder if they should. I can't even imagine how awkward this scene must of been to film for everyone involved. Full Scene: HERE.
The real reason caucasian people have trouble getting a job is because they all started drug testing, and the only white recreational activities left are substance abuse, incest, patriotism, fords and watching millionaire black's play school yard games.
Back in the mid 1900's, she was Italy's "Original Pornstar". Today she's senile, decrepit and probably doesn't even know whats going on but someone let her out the nursing home for one last porno shoot. lol wtf. FULL SCENE.
She likes getting fucked like a dilapidated catfish and she's almost as quotable as Will Ferrell. Meet a racist mud shark as she gets "fucking fucked" by two minorities after sexually hate crime-ing them with soul food. Full Scene HERE.
"She's beautiful!", announces mom in the voice of an angel while watching her daughter masturbate. Then dad comes home, see's mom and daughter naked in the tub on web cam... he's totally cool with it. Amber's profile HERE.
Some women that happen to look like rejected "Lord of the Rings" characters find themselves in a cheap hotel room, making a porn movie so atrocious that even the producer wouldn't show up to film it. Full scene HERE
We as humans are at the fuckin' highest point of civilization we've ever achieved. Our technology is more advanced than ever before in history and recently, we put a dildo in orbit... Welcome to the new age.
These two got together and decided to reenact "Passion of the Christ" leading up to a cum shot instead of a crucifixion. Warning: This is the kinda twisted shit Ted Bundy and Chris Brown could fap to. FULL SCENE HERE.