Retarded Moments in Porn 2023

ex·per·i·menting: [1] to try out new concepts or ways of doing things [2] performing a scientific procedure, to determine something [3] to change the entire demographic for the NERF Elite Strongarm Blaster

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Diet WIN

If anyone's interested in a wager, I have Season 6 of Bill Nye the Science Guy on bluray that says my pet chinchilla drops bigger deuces than this chick. More of her HERE.

02/24/12 Gallery

The Internet Never Forgets

Outside of ejaculating to Nicolas Cage's death scene in The Wicker Man, no male celebrity will bring you remorse quite like Simon 'Dirt Nasty' Rex. Former MTV VJ, rolls with Andy Milonakis... and 20 years ago he took a $100 payday to stick his dick in Zack Morris' bedroom carpet. [Diss Track by Traplord Skybaby]

08/12/18 LULZ

Unethical Erectionz

New fetish unlocked at the 2:35 mark: Wearing your friends fish purses like a pair of Jimmy Choo platforms. Except in this version you don't have to cough up a mortgage payment on 5th avenue before getting ankle deep in fashion week. Bargain of the century. [more: Y809Y]

04/01/24 Bizarre

Butthole Rekt By Mandingo

Srsly tho, "dog fart" has to be the fucking worst studio name in porno history.

06/08/15 Dogfart Anal

First Scene, Last Scene

2002-2004. An era of professionally produced pornography that should probably be forgotten. Not a single penetration was made, yet I feel like I've been fucked by spare tires and empty cans of Busch Light after sitting through this atrocity. The line dropped at 2:30 really makes you wonder how many Marlboro Miles these guy were paid for the scene.

03/18/24 Bizarre

Bad Times at Ling's Massage Parlor

See that rush of fear around the 3:00 mark? That's the kind of reaction second only to a man that has miscalculated his maximum capacity for P.F. Changs Orange Chicken in a public venue. And I think that's something we can all relate to. L, OH, fuckin L

01/13/22 Asians

The Absurdity of Japanese Pornography

A "last man standing" circle jerk to the death. After decades of being forced to censor genitals, Japanese smut producers have lost their minds.

11/14/13 JAVHD Asians

Suki Sin Won't STFU

This condition is more commonly known as "high maintenance". It happens when all your sexual experience comes from Ikea tutorial videos, so you seek the refuge of desperate males and develop less communication skills than The Undertaker. #sadtbh

11/04/24 Asians

The Third Eye

Anybody have the technical name for this phenomenon? or a real explanation? Specifically one that doesn't involve voodoo dolls, Penn & Teller or Planet Wing's suicide sauce. I want answers.

10/01/19 NubileFilms Bizarre

Unacceptable Devices III

If you thought we were going to make it through 3 volumes of woman decorating their reproductive systems with everything that isn't bolted down at Home Goods, and not get a single appearance by the only pornstar that could land a Dyson sponsorship; you thought wrong. And quite frankly, I'm a little disappointed. Also RIP Rowdy Piper.

The Most Pathetic Lesbian Scene Of All Time

Some women that happen to look like rejected "Lord of the Rings" characters find themselves in a cheap hotel room, making a porn movie so atrocious that even the producer wouldn't show up to film it.

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