Meet Sabrina-Lynn: FetLife member, and dairy enthusiast. She's not the type to shy away from 1-night-stands or secondhand tampons... but today that carefree attitude is about to get Bill fuckin Cosby'd, yo.
Nothing quite spells EFUKT like a supposed 'Navy Seal' turned male pornstar challenging 80+ CSUN students to a backyard brawl, whilst completely naked and armed with nothing but a slowly deflating boner. HAHA. Check out the full scene HERE.
She's junior college educated, has a rack to premature ejaculate for, and isn't afraid to slob on the knob after her partner takes a trip to cornhole city. Superintendent Jackoff & Co can hate all they want, this angel is a keeper. Read HERE. See her nastiest videos HERE, HERE, and HERE.
This dude ejaculates Grey Poupon. Straight up. It's the most bedazzling shit I've seen since that picture of Jesus appearing on a dog's asshole. Be sure to keep a towel handy in case you vomit and/or nut. See the full video HERE.
I saw my 1st prolapse at 16 while surfing the old blog section of Khan Tusion's meatholes.com. It was pretty foul. Not even a rewatch of Katie Holmes's titties in The Gift could shake my mood . So who the fuck is this Khan Tusion guy ? This video sheds some light. More HERE.
Dont let the bandana fool you. This cholo's 'tough guy' persona is about as real as his pleather jacket. Such is illustrated after Gianna does the unforgivable - an unconsensual snowball attack - which he takes like a total bitch. This is funny as fuck. DOWNLOAD THE FULL VIDEO HERE.
After boning a good 75% of New Jersey's crackwhore population, Facial Abuse has finally broken some unfamiliar ground - giving a girl an actual orgasm, and apparently an epic one at that... this chick is left more googly eyed than fuckin Steve Buscemi! Full video HERE. Song HERE.
She's got a unique look. It's two parts concentration camp, one part Glamour Girls. If anyone's interested in a wager, I have Season 6 of Bill Nye the Science Guy on bluray that says my pet chinchilla drops bigger deuces than this chick. More of her HERE.
Working the graveyard shift usually sucks Golden Retriever dick, but it's not entirely absent of perks. During my tenure at the 24 hour Rite Aid, I enjoyed a 10% increase in pay and unadulterated access to the ice cream station. But as for complimentary blowjobs from tresspassing prostitutes... that one's all up to this smooth talking Apu.
UPDATE: this girl actually emailed me, here's the background story - she lives in a KKK-laden town where 12 inch black wangs are the forbidden fruit. Undeterred, she sought salvation on blackplanet.com and ultimately bit off more BBC than her vagina could chew. Here's some pics she sent me: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
This girl has 1 of the nicest racks I've ever seen. But bundle that with an extremely frigid personality & you then have the biggest disappointment since Macaulay Culkin's The Pagemaster. Seriously, this chick's so uptight she wont even do a facial. It's tragic. FULL VIDEO HERE.
Pug-faced Hispanic drinks herself so numb she doesn't even notice when last night's chimichanga is hanging halfway out her asshole. Her laugh is as bad as her hygiene. Sounds like something Steven Urkel would emit while making love to the dude from Wonder Years. Watch this one all the way through. Full videos HERE and HERE.
There's only one thing more futile that trying to bust a nut while watching reruns of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - and that's attempting to win an argument against a porn director whilst esophagus-deep in cock. Two boners up for the effort. Download the full video HERE.
This girl has an emotional breakdown immediately following a facial. I initially assumed the obvious - dude must love his jumbo asparagus. But upon a 2nd viewing, I spotted a wedding band on the left hand. This is the part where I'm supposed to call her a whore. Personally, I'd rather just comfort her and smell her butt. I'm romantic like that. Full vid HERE.
If there's one thing that never fails to get a fuckload of clicks - it's videos of unexpected butt love. So here's 8 of em. That's right, EIGHT, as in the number of times I defecated after eating crab wontons at P.F. Changs. Enjoy. SOURCES: #1, #2, #4, #5, #6, #8.
Meet 20 year old Destiny. She has a knack for stuffing household products up her sweet sweet shithole, and thanks to the head honcho over @ isanyoneup.com, 2 new items just made the list - Odor Eaters Foot Spray and her brother's antiperspirant. HAHA. Profile HERE.
Check her twat at the 1.55 mark. After no more than 15 seconds of diddling her clit, shit becomes the Niagra Falls of vaginal discharge. Camera dude says it's cum. I have 5 bucks and case of diet Mr. Pibb that says it's forgotten creampie from yesteryear. Full video HERE + HERE
What's life's greatest mystery? god? aliens? why Lionsgate allows Tyler Perry to continue directing films? How about how the fuck this 46 year old poster boy for NAMBLA managed to pull a Russian model half his age, only to vow abstinence for half a fucking decade? Full video HERE and more HERE.
I've always enjoyed the finer things in life, namely the Wendy's Cheddar Lover's Bacon cheeseburger, Cuba Gooding Jr. films and watching twats get used up like a Stretch Armstrong doll. Just watch. SOURCES: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #11, #12, #13.