Thriving On Orifice Destruction

Bad news is that I am not a minotaur with two cocks, so there's no chance of me pleasing this girl sexually. But the good news is she could always sneak things into concerts for me or I could rent her to the cartels as a drug mule.

  9,995  |    Anonymous  |    Advertisement


Cleaning Has Never Been More Fun

Fuck, that's a hell of a way to mop a floor. It's inspiring really. So how exactly would one apply this kind of creativity to cleaning up their bathroom? I've got shit stains on my toilet dating back from 1997 and the only way I'm gonna get off my ass and do something about it is if it involves a naked woman.

  1,923,756  |    11.3.08  |    Anonymous  |    Bizarre

How To Fuck Like A King

Damn. I could really use some service like this. At 325 pounds, I'm lucky if I can even find my cock, let alone put it to use. Sign me up for 2 whores, along with 4 beefcakes to handle all movement.

  1,912,123  |    11.2.08  |    Anonymous  |    LULZ

You Fucked My Pussy Up

It's not your typical work-related injury, but these things do happen... especially when someone is intentionally thrusting their foot into your vagina. It could've been worse - a flesh wound via jagged toenail... that would've put her out of work for good.

  1,229,648  |    10.26.08  |    Anonymous  |    Porn Bloopers

Fattest Pussy Ever

Her vagina looks a lot like a baseball mit, same color too. If you're gonna be 69'ing her with you on bottom, do yourself a favor and bring along a snorkel.

  1,151,444  |    10.24.08  |    Anonymous  |    Beef Curtains

Turkish Painful Anal

This one is a little open-ended. There's no money shot or anything, which gives us the opportunity to use our imaginations and draw our own conclusions. Perhaps she had a prolapse, ran off the set in humiliation, then went flat broke and turned to prostitution? Sounds about right to me.

  2,074,181  |    10.22.08  |    Anonymous  |    Painal

Get The Fuck Away From My Tits

Diane here follows orders. I like that. I wonder if she'd comply if I told her to sit on my face and giggle like a school girl? Probably not. She'd likely just bitch slap me like she did to the douche bag in this video.

  1,224,706  |    10.21.08  |    Anonymous  |    Groped

Eat Your Own Pussy!

LOL @ the dialogue and fap fap fap @ the forced cunnilingus. I love these variety videos. DOWNLOAD FULL VIDEO HERE.

  2,216,140  |    10.20.08  |    Anonymous  |    Vintage

Go Away Bro, I'm Masturbating

This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.

  793,956  |    10.19.08  |    Anonymous  |    Busted!

Intentionally Caught Jacking Off

He very well might end up getting banned from every Motel 6 across the country, but eventually one of these fat Hispanic maids will do the right thing and finish the man off - just like in the porno films.

  1,949,819  |    10.15.08  |    Anonymous  |    Exhibition

Indian Girl Almost Quits Anal Scene

These girls only do anal cause it lands them an extra $200 on their paycheck. That's a lot like getting paid $1,000 to go down on a 400 pound lady & then being offered an extra $100 to toss her wart-infested salad. It's just not worth it. But while were on the subject of bargains, for $2.95 you can download the full 40 minute version of this fucked up video... and trust me, it gets a lot more fucked up. Just click HERE an fap away.

  3,122,781  |    10.14.08  |    Anonymous  |    Painal

No Bitch I Aint Eating Your Pussy

She tries to blame the fowl taste on the lube but that doesn't really explain the cheese whiz dripping out of her pussy. Douche with hydrogen peroxide + Mentos and get on with the show.

  1,414,125  |    10.11.08  |    Anonymous  |    Porn Bloopers

Butthole Damaged After Anal Sex

Here's yet another video of a woman suffering from bodily damage after granting a large cock permission to penetrate her brown eye. To be honest, I think this one is a tranny but that's besides the point. I want to know where those 2 giant raisins dangling from her asshole came from?

  1,978,076  |    10.10.08  |    Anonymous  |    Painal