I've never seen a woman so content with a) being butt-naked in Walmart and b) getting caught in said petri dish with her fruit of the looms on the floor. Her concern has the runtime of a Skittles commercial, and all she can do is giggle like Charlie Sheen in a Botswana whorehouse.
Exhibitionist couple get increasingly annoyed after being spotted by a deviant with the social skills of a closet Anime collector. It's akin to casting Clint Eastwood on an Iron Chef episode about anti-Semitic meatloaf recipes. Some things you just can't pull off, no matter how big your dick is.
This is called 'if i act like i'm having an aneurysm, i'll make more money' syndrome. It happens when girls see a drop in token gratuity so they set their vibrators to 11 and let the brain damage begin. But today, a breaking point was reached LOL.
It's all shits and tips until you get a 40-year-old Little Ceaser's employee a colossal erection. He was offered a peek, he went for the soggy box instead. Some label him a sexual predator - I prefer the moniker "pick up artist".
Esophogous mericlessly smashed at the hands of someone channeling their inner Nacho Vidal. Likely won't be able to eat solids for a week. No, this isn't my review of Holly Holm/Misha Tate. It's webster's officially definition of a 'mother fuckin KEEPER'.
Meet Kim, the bombshell Azn who can't hear shit. Our genius porn hero guy figures to write down "me want fukky fukky" on paper and away we go. She only makes little soft vowel noises, it's pretty adorable. FULL SCENE and MFC Profile.
"She's beautiful!", announces mom in the voice of an angel while watching her daughter masturbate. Then dad comes home, see's mom and daughter naked in the tub on web cam... he's totally cool with it. Amber's profile HERE.
In the bowels of Brazil a.k.a. the other other Mexico, a local stripper gives a drunk and weary traveler an experience he'll never forget... if he can remember. He goes home with a dildo souvenir so he'll definitely know something went down that night. #YOLO
A run of the mill twerking competition is won in an epic land slide when little miss hair extensions makes the guy jizz himself. For her legendary feat Shaquanda is awarded the illustrious title and like fitty bucks.
The amazing thing? Multiple people thought these were good ideas and put a whole lot of effort into them. I.E. the guy who had to cut a dick hole in a giant wheaties box or the man controlling the giant octopus dildo tentacles. Scenes: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Scene's over and it's time to go home... but first this starlet has a complete mental unraveling. Her tears and plight do little more than generate awkward lulz and kill the mood for the next girl. More HERE and HERE.
No matter what the cause, there are always attention starved hippies wanting to get naked in support of stuff. Eating meat, women's rights, fur, politics, the environment... No one cares... Everyone's here because some these naked bitches are hot.
Backpage's finest goes by "daddy's baby anal queen" and she aspires for greatness via her butthole. The only problem is she hates anal and her possibly worm-infested colon is so tight, it's like trying to fit an elephant in a safeway bag. Full Scene HERE.
I think we all know what really happened to that Malaysian airplane, as we've all seen Donnie Darko and know about the government cover up... But hey, all I'm really trying to say is that at least the G-spot is easier to find than Flight 370. SOURCES: HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE.
Belle Knox is cute, smart enough for an ivy league college and got her name by mixing a Disney princess with an alleged murderer. My kinda girl! Except for the small fact that a feminist doing facial abuse for women's rights is like a rabbi going to Auschwitz for a free shower. Full scenes HERE and HERE.