I've never seen a woman so content with a) being butt-naked in Walmart and b) getting caught in said petri dish with her fruit of the looms on the floor. Her concern has the runtime of a Skittles commercial, and all she can do is giggle like Charlie Sheen in a Botswana whorehouse.
Exhibitionist couple get increasingly annoyed after being spotted by a deviant with the social skills of a closet Anime collector. It's akin to casting Clint Eastwood on an Iron Chef episode about anti-Semitic meatloaf recipes. Some things you just can't pull off, no matter how big your dick is.
This is called 'if i act like i'm having an aneurysm, i'll make more money' syndrome. It happens when girls see a drop in token gratuity so they set their vibrators to 11 and let the brain damage begin. But today, a breaking point was reached LOL.
It's all shits and tips until you get a 40-year-old Little Ceaser's employee a colossal erection. He was offered a peek, he went for the soggy box instead. Some label him a sexual predator - I prefer the moniker "pick up artist".
Esophogous mericlessly smashed at the hands of someone channeling their inner Nacho Vidal. Likely won't be able to eat solids for a week. No, this isn't my review of Holly Holm/Misha Tate. It's webster's officially definition of a 'mother fuckin KEEPER'.
Every ratchet skank that waddles off the New Jersey greyhound with hopes of porn stardom is sent to meet the grand wizard of trash talk. Many leave with their dreams, orifices and self-esteem shattered. [Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ] All vids in full HERE.
For a hooker/pornstar, she honestly seems like one of the nicest people ever... Even if her butthole looks like the queen alien from "Starship Troopers" and possibly carries multiple strains of the same venereal diseases. More HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE.
All you fukr's are awesome! Thanks for the emails, tips, submissions, everything. Love all the support from you crazy assholes. If you have the balls to weird out your friends and relatives, follow the twitter and shit, if not we understand. lol
Turns out the 1987 original was supposed to be even more violent. With the new remake getting a PG-13 rating, with it comes the almost certainty to destroy the ultra-violent badass awesomeness of robocop and change him into a safe for kids metal pussy. STORY.
Losing an 8 inch dildo in in a girls ass can have some consequences beyond fecal flavoring. If you can't get it out, the shoot is over and it's an awkward trip to the hospital with an unhappy porn star. Full scene: HERE.
When an Azn teenager is reluctant to finish getting ass fucked, it's this guy's cue to utilize a pro-wrestling style submission maneuver and ride it home. Featuring acting so good Kirk Cameron would shed a single tear. MORE.
What happens in Mexico Chile gets filmed with a potato by cartel members drunk off corona lights. For some guys that love beheading the locals and smuggling drugs in their butts, they sure have weak stomachs.
It's funny, after a while you realize they are just like normal people. Only totally insane. Prolly from fapping over and over everyday, hours on end for sophisticated gentlemen like "BigDickRick", "TruckerSteve", and "NarutoFan76". Find more HERE.
Being born with a deformity is horrible, until you consider the possibility of having two big fully functioning cocks. In that case, it's winning the genetic lottery and gaining super human sexual abilities at birth. Finally a hero the internet deserves. Read more here.
Porn studio treats girl's asshole like a pokeball. Because in Japan, the more psychotic the idea, the better porn it makes. All while censoring the genitals... Cuz ya know, actual sex is just vulgar. Additional Absurdity.
True Blood's Sukki has a ratchet doppelganger that attempted porn and totally hated it. Her debut goes about as smoothly as a psoriasis break out... But unlike psoriasis she never came back and wasn't seen again. More nervous newbs HERE.
Flat-chested girls everywhere rejoice because there's worse things in life than having no tits. You could have weird tits and add implants, leaving you with gigantic weird sideshow tits... and back problems. SONG.
When youtube prankster Vitaly from Vitalyzdtv isn't scaring black people with cops/zombies/jailbait and teaching betas how to kiss girls, he's hoping this video never see's the light of day... Sorry brah. Full Scene HERE.
A socially inept goober gets a job getting jerked off by a hottie and manages to fuck it up, dashing his dreams of porn stardom in the process. It's like the movie Rudy, if Rudy was thrown out the game before ever playing and never scored. Moar HERE.
In all the English language, there is no word to describe taking pleasure at someone's misfortunes. No opposite of envy. The German's call it "schadenfreude" and they were nazi's once. Full Scenes 1, 2, 3, 4 and SONG.
Ratchet is what you get if a "ghetto hood rat" and a "chicken head" have a fatherless child that becomes a stripper or aspiring rapper with Tupac quotes for tattoo's and eight ratchet kids of their own. More ratchet amateurs HERE.
A last man standing circle jerk to the death with tranny power rangers from outer space... After decades of being forced to censor genitals, Japanese smut producers have lost their minds. See also: Tentacle rape and eel porn.