Meet Veronica Chaos. She's 20-something, pretty hot, and has a weakness for Ventriloquist dummies hung like Whoopie Goldberg. Today she not only acts out her favorite fairytale, but does so with better acting than the entire cast of Entourage combined. #MARRYME
An insider's look at the social justice warrior's real reasons for protesting, where elephant-dicked men on the poverty line are stripped of their Tommy Hilfigers and bullied into vaginas Donald Trump wouldn't grab. In other words: dis shit is lit.
Esophogous mericlessly smashed at the hands of someone channeling their inner Nacho Vidal. Likely won't be able to eat solids for a week. No, this isn't my review of Holly Holm/Misha Tate. It's webster's officially definition of a 'mother fuckin KEEPER'.
The Dating Playbook by Andrew Ferebee. Buy yourself TWO copies. Cause the current approach of turning your dick into a secret item on the Buffalo Wild Wings menu isn't really panning out, brah. More HERE.
Much like Amy Schumer after mistakenly eating a reduced fat potato chip, you can literally see the fear in this girl's eyes. Emphasis on the 1:10 mark with the introduction of level-10, car battery-to-the-uterus shock therapy.
"She's beautiful!", announces mom in the voice of an angel while watching her daughter masturbate. Then dad comes home, see's mom and daughter naked in the tub on web cam... he's totally cool with it. Amber's profile HERE.
In the bowels of Brazil a.k.a. the other other Mexico, a local stripper gives a drunk and weary traveler an experience he'll never forget... if he can remember. He goes home with a dildo souvenir so he'll definitely know something went down that night. #YOLO
A run of the mill twerking competition is won in an epic land slide when little miss hair extensions makes the guy jizz himself. For her legendary feat Shaquanda is awarded the illustrious title and like fitty bucks.
The amazing thing? Multiple people thought these were good ideas and put a whole lot of effort into them. I.E. the guy who had to cut a dick hole in a giant wheaties box or the man controlling the giant octopus dildo tentacles. Scenes: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Scene's over and it's time to go home... but first this starlet has a complete mental unraveling. Her tears and plight do little more than generate awkward lulz and kill the mood for the next girl. More HERE and HERE.
No matter what the cause, there are always attention starved hippies wanting to get naked in support of stuff. Eating meat, women's rights, fur, politics, the environment... No one cares... Everyone's here because some these naked bitches are hot.
Backpage's finest goes by "daddy's baby anal queen" and she aspires for greatness via her butthole. The only problem is she hates anal and her possibly worm-infested colon is so tight, it's like trying to fit an elephant in a safeway bag. Full Scene HERE.
I think we all know what really happened to that Malaysian airplane, as we've all seen Donnie Darko and know about the government cover up... But hey, all I'm really trying to say is that at least the G-spot is easier to find than Flight 370. SOURCES: HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE.
Belle Knox is cute, smart enough for an ivy league college and got her name by mixing a Disney princess with an alleged murderer. My kinda girl! Except for the small fact that a feminist doing facial abuse for women's rights is like a rabbi going to Auschwitz for a free shower. Full scenes HERE and HERE.
Some women that happen to look like rejected "Lord of the Rings" characters find themselves in a cheap hotel room, making a porn movie so atrocious that even the producer wouldn't show up to film it. Full scene HERE
Every ratchet skank that waddles off the New Jersey greyhound with hopes of porn stardom is sent to meet the grand wizard of trash talk. Many leave with their dreams, orifices and self-esteem shattered. [Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ] All vids in full HERE.