Cheap Whores and Dinosaurs

You can brag about your male pattern baldness all you want homeboy. But if you're not turning all vaginas within a 3 mile distance into your own personal bowl of Hungry Jack Mashed Potatoes, are you even living the Costanza?

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"Dirty Rotten Piece of Shit Whore"

♫ I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine
♫ I got a love and I know that it's all mine, oh, oh-oh
♫ Do what you want but you're never gonna break me
♫ Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me, oh, oh-oh

CAMTASTROPHES #1

This is all but guaranteed to exterminate any story you've been led to believe that everyone in the webcam community is living life on easy mode. Snap back to reality with 5 disasters even FEMA won't pick up your phone calls for.

Unacceptable Devices V

If there's one thing that never fails to get me questioning the future of this whole human race experiment; it's what the most unassuming person will consider a sexual accessory. So here's about 6 of them. That's right, six. As in the number of times I replayed the noise that Pringles can made when ricocheting off her head.

The Absolute Worst of Pornhub VIII

There's only one reason people storyboard, shoot, edit and upload this kind of shit to the Internet. And it lives somewhere in between "I need to pay my taxes" and "$1 dollar pizza slices make me shit blood". Just three of life's little guarantees. More: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [-7-]

CAMTASTROPHES #13

Every day, everywhere you look people are spamming fears of USD collapse and political discourse. While I'm over here waiting for things like this to start happening in Chipotle parking lots during daytime hours again. #boomer #oldfashioned

07/25/24 CAMTASTROPHES

GIRL HAS DELAYED ORGASM

We're all too familiar with premature ejaculators, but what about latent ejaculation? Watch as she starts cumming an entire minute after intercourse is completed without even being touched. WTF?

Friday Morning in California

Essentially this is a public service announcement on the cons and cons of touring San Fransisco. Some will live to tell the tale. Others will merge with Skid Row through osmosis. But all will learn the defintion of of "Ordering the Portuguese Breakfast".

07/27/19 Nasty

Blame it on Mother Nature

She's having problems of the ovarian variety and it's about to fuck your day up. My defense? eFukt lacks videos for the female demographic. You already know where this is going.

05/05/18 Nasty

OFFICIAL: The Most Vile Girl on the Internet

Some women require foreplay to get off. Others, Little Caesars 5 for $5.00. And then there's Jessica Carrboro aka The Crotch Vampire, who takes no less than a scoop of organic strawberry swirl to get moist. I say this with complete sincerity: You're not ready for her.

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Interracial Dirty Talk Fail

Deep inside a forgotten SD card of anonymous's Aunt Tammy and Uncle T-Dog was a disaster-piece of American amateur porno history. Almost lost forever.

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Would Not Hit

Much like Robocop 1-3, this goes from mildly erotic to fucking horrible pretty darn fast. Tipping point involves a Cambodian that apparently tried to high-five a weed wacker.

08/28/12 Amputee
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