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The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

1,500,686 views 12/28/08 Bizarre

Grandma's Udders

I don't give a fuck how old she is. I'd suck on those senior citizen natties till they turned purple.

802,520 views 11/30/08

Go Away Bro, I'm Masturbating

This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.

1,060,132 views 10/19/08 Busted!

Her Pussy Needs Stitches!

Cocks like this ought to be illegal, punishable by castration. Anything above 13 inches has got to go. They'll poke your eye out, prolapse your ass and leave with you a cocktail of STD's.

3,367,027 views 09/30/08 Bizarre

Search Her Pussy For Contraband

I love how this is a real procedure. They do it before admitting woman into correction facilities. Imagine having that job, getting paid to raid pussies for contraband. Imagine all the treasures you could find.

1,722,789 views 09/17/08 Groped

She Cums Nine Times

The dude sounds Popeye the Sailorman and his old lady squirts cum like a water fountain. They were born for eFukt. Thanks goes to Rod for the video.

2,524,209 views 08/28/08 Orgasms

Oh Noes The Condom Broke!

I found this on some website that pays $2,000 for homemade porno. I'm kinda bummed... they rejected all 3 of my personal sextapes, citing that my 2 inch penis wouldn't appeal to general audiences. Ouch!

5,038,761 views 08/27/08 SellYourSexTape.com Amateur

Pornstar Gets A New Vagina

Her vagina lips looked like they belonged in an Arbys roast beef sandwhich. This was bad for her career so she set out on a perilous journey to unbeef her pussy and close the gape once and for all.

1,677,376 views 08/17/08 Beef Curtains

They LOL At His 1 Inch Penis

This video mad me LOL hard.

1,249,807 views 08/15/08 LULZ

Bitch You Got A Yeast Infection

This is probably why you don't see that many male performers bragging about their profession... cause they all got warts on their dicks and have to eat out girls like this! Yum yums.

1,515,322 views 08/04/08 Fail

Ouch Her Pussy Hurts

Big penises can be dangerous. Better be careful or they'll poke your eye out.. and maybe your cervix too.

2,715,578 views 07/27/08 Fail

He Cums In 5 Seconds Flat

His girlfriend doesn't sound too happy about his poor performance between her legs. They have anesthetic creams that work wonders for premature ejaculation. I'd say buy some.

2,340,619 views 05/20/08 Premature

Porn Slut Is Fed Up

They should use super soakers to deliver the cumshots instead. You could hit a slut right between the eyes from a good 15 feet away.

1,616,607 views 05/05/08 Fail

Orgasm Morphs Woman Into Beast

That man is lucky to be alive. She damn near bit his head off. I'll bet you anything she's related to this lady.

2,023,127 views 04/22/08 Orgasms

How To Make A Girl Cum

If your penis is insufficient, watch this video and learn how to give a girl an orgasm so big that she'll giiggle like school girl and love you forever. This would be quite a change for me, most girls just spit in my face after sex. They just can't seem to appreciate ass 2 mouth.

6,721,348 views 04/19/08 Orgasms

Insecure Slut Tries Anal

This housewife expresses concern about shit getting on her husbands cock as they try anal for the 1st time. I wouldn't worry much, ATM solves everything.

2,232,210 views 03/06/08 Amateur

Dont Fuck When Drunk

A drunk couple falls out of a hot tub as they're fucking but that doesn't slow em down one bit!

2,244,782 views 01/16/08 LULZ

Whale Vagina

Have you guys ever seen that old horror movie The Blob? Her pussy is going to eat you alive lolz.

2,836,334 views 11/02/07 Gallery

Buried & Throat Fucked

Seriously, they could've taken this soooo much further. I'm surprised they didn't shit on her face.

3,089,199 views 09/07/07 Bizarre

Slut Flashing Her Nasty Ass - CLASSIC

They really wanted her to spread her cheeks, I guess they weren't expecting all those hemroids!

2,166,284 views 06/17/07 Nasty
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