Japanese girl destroys both physics & my expectations of all sub-97 lb females at the same time. I officially want to be the first American to lend our "Home of the Brave" slogan out to East Asia. Azumi just earned it.
One of few videos left in the wake of the walking disaster known as JewDank. A degenerate adventure filled with drugs, deception and calling out girls that fuck their dogs. Catch up on the full history HERE. Fap again HERE.
Flipping the Minnow, Clubbing the Chimp, Procrastabating, Shaking Hands with Bruce Willis - Call it what you want. I refer to it as the only reason to leave the house other than to stock up on Mr. Pibb and fried dough. Shoutouts to feminism for empowering these women.
LIFE LESSON #186: If your poker face is weaker than the walls of Alec Baldwin's rectum - stay the fuck out of the side-chick game. Last time I saw this level of angst in a female, I had to translate "yes, nickles are so a currency" into English for a Sudanese hooker. (thx Alexa)
Every good film deserves 4 sequels... and many moons ago I stumbled upon a select few degenerates that give less fucks about 'dignity' and 'clean STD tests' than the roster of the 1970 Lakers. Venturing into dead meme territory, but the hole-to-hole acrobatics are worth a followup.
Admittedly these are all pretty standard 'i drank 2 entire Coronas on spring break and had sex with a house plant' plot lines... but dude in the last clip has some explaining to do. Like, this is why I have to wear diapers at 27-years-old kind of explaining. PARTS 1 - 2 - 3
A five minute crash-course on how to squeeze every moment out of your favorite side piece, as illustrated by the shameless, the morally-deprived, and the defenders of all things Insane Clown Posse. It's priceless information really. Trust me on this one. More HERE and HERE
A laptop dancing internet stripper takes her fapping to the streets. Only problem is a viewer tipped off building security and her guerrilla sexual tactics are gonna get cut short... LOL [CAMWHORES] [SONG]
It's bottom of the ninth in ling ling's fap session. She's been grinding her wanton with a hi-power vibrator for about 10 minutes and right as she's about to burst... her little brother hilariously ruins everything. LOL. MORE.
Dude gets mega blue-balled after his water-buffalo of a girlfriend bails on him mid-coitus, leaving him and his lukewarm boner on a curb in downtown Newcastle. He deals with rejection the same way I dealt with the intro to season 2 of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch..... FAP.
Early model Dodge Caravan and intermediate family member not required. Just find yourself an open stretch of highway, enable cruise control, have the female shimmy on over and let the greasing of your piston begin.
Downside of being 26 and still living at home: everytime youre about to unload some nutsack chutney onto your GF's face., momma comes a knockin! And of course there's always the other end of the spectrum - mom's with foot long dongs but no time to use em.
Grandpa Willy's sexual escapade is derailed after the Mrs. makes an unexpected visit to his dungeon of spunk. After unleashing a fit of rage, a wild herd of Ukrainian crackwhores appear out of nowhere and make a run for the front door. One doesn't seem to make it. LOL.
This is rather odd. I mean the dude gets caught pissing on the face of his 20 year old girlfriend by a lady older than Jesus and doesn't even bother to cover up. For a solid 10 seconds the old hag just stands there eyeing his cock. There's no embarrassment. No dialogue. Just one baffled senior citizen trying to make sense of a contemporary sex act.
This video was submitted with no audio track. Luckly I can read lips with precise accuracy, so I created some textual captions to compensate for the lack of dialogue. Pretty sure I nailed it on the head.