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How To Lose An Eye

31,942 views 03/11/24 Camwhores

Industrial Grade Sex Machine vs. 90lb Girl

Some women need a good meal and a text goodnight to reach their sexual peak. Others; a couple finger loops around the ole pastrami butterfly. And then there's [Vai] who will stop at nothing less than the full power of Optimus Prime to activate her O-face.

1,209,391 views 11/06/23 Fucking Machines Ridiculous Orgasms

Shit Pornstars Say 6

Kristina Bella becomes self-aware. Leya Falcon gives back to her community. Audrey Hempburn is currently on the run from Twitter And Veronica Leal... well, let's just say Ze Machine knows how to keep the romance going. You'll see.

2,113,160 views 02/09/23 Shit Pornstars Say

The Undisputed Champ of Premature Ejaculation

What happens when you try to clone Mike Tyson, but the machine takes the eggplant emoji seriously? Sorry, but that specimen needs to be noted here. Was it's purpose to inflict maximum damage, or an aerodynamic choice to reach a new velocity?

1,846,054 views 09/19/22 Bangbros Premature

"Everything Makes Me Cum"

For a box that probably has more miles on it than grandads '69 Chevelle; it's in stellar condition. In fact, it might be setting the bar too high for fellow terrorKink enthusiasts to follow. I don't know if I should be impressed or slide in those DM's and ask for the cattle prod discounts. According to this video, they do exist. More RDG [HERE] and [HERE]

1,456,820 views 08/18/22 Kink.com Orgasms

Probably the Most Dangerous Sex Tape Ever Made

Commit to a blind date in the state of Florida, and I'd say you got about a 98% chance of matching up with a person that dispenses more threatening fluids than a Mountain Dew vending machine. And today my friends, you're gonna learn that the hard way.

1,979,174 views 08/04/22 Ghetto Confessions WTF

Unacceptable Devices II

Inflation is nearing 9% and you're burning through c-notes so you can Rube Goldberg machine your way into the Guinness Book of Degenerate Orgasms? Someone send this to Dave Ramsey, I want to see him shit his economically priced pants.

2,017,029 views 05/09/22 Unacceptable Devices

The Worst of OnlyFanz III

Tripling down on a sub-culture that has defied all odds and normalized paying for content less interesting than giving Betty White 15 unsupervised minutes with a lawn sprinkler. These hype machines never seem to deliver. But the ones that come up really short? These might get a nut or 5 out of you. [PART I] [PART II]

2,622,832 views 11/08/21 The Worst of OnlyFanz

The Legend of the Golden Condom

This is a look into a pagan sex cult turned rock band called "RockBitch". A sex commune living in a monastery that created a music and stage show that's kinda like a feminist rage against the machine meets an all out orgy. More Info HERE.

2,060,663 views 11/27/19 Documentary

Ultra Alpha

Would Denmark Mafia be so kind as to turn the soundbyte at 0:24 into their next banger? That's the kind of collaboration that can fuel my beat-off sessions all the way into spring. More Woodman HERE and HERE.

3,612,229 views 11/19/18 Woodman Casting X Orgasms

Creating the Perfect Woman

There's just no forgetting you did something like this. Their throats will be forever agaped. The chronic oral queefing has already set in. They're essentially walking, talking whoopie cushions and yet... they remain in good spirits. I like dat in a partner.

2,184,366 views 09/08/18 Sexually Broken LULZ

Triple Anal Machine

129,283 views 04/20/15

Czech porn is hilariously horrible

What does a Toyota Supra, lung cancer and a washer machine have in common? In most cases, absolutely fucking nothing. But this isn't like most cases. This is Czech pornography, the final frontier in sexual retardation.

5,361,981 views 01/21/13 OldCouplefuckteen LULZ

Creme Fraiche'd

Epic poker face @ .57 mark. I call this one the 'i totally just nutted in my own mouth but i dont even give a fuck cause i have a 6.7 inch penis and listen to Rage Against The Machine on vinyl' look. Dude's got that shit mastered.

4,303,380 views 05/11/12 TeenBurg Fail

Condom Fail

That's what happens when you buy contraceptives out of vending machines.

2,566,805 views 08/18/09 LULZ

Orgasm At The Gym

You're supposed to wipe down the machine with a towel before you leave, dickhead.

1,376,559 views 07/10/09 Public

Hookers Arent Very Political

If all the prostitutes in America turned political, crack would be legalized and sold through vending machines. It's best we keep their faces stuffed with cock.

1,706,545 views 06/29/08 Amateur
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