If all the prostitutes in America turned political, crack would be legalized and sold through vending machines. It's best we keep their faces stuffed with cock.
The "Pepe le Pew" of porn finds out his costar is half an X-men with titanium rods installed on her spin. Woodman's response? An absolute fucking hurricane of verbal and physical assaulting that would make Chris Brown look like Charlie Brown lol.
Bridge piercing, stomach tattoos and the occasional rush to the emergency room for soft tissue damage. May I be so bold to say I haven't seen this level of intensity since The Shining.
Card breakers are individuals or businesses that livestream themselves opening trading card products, such as sports or Pokemon cards, for a group of customers who buy "spots" or "teams" in the break.
At first I was positive this was the same woman that keeps invading my Instagram feed with videos about blowing circus clowns and publicly shaming herself for having the vaginal odor of a Sudanese outhouse. But her (un)puckered starburst having the towing capacity of a Dodge Ram 3500 proved otherwise.
hmm, strange. Here I am thinking the whole "i'm training to turn my uterus into a parking garage for hellcats" was no longer a lucrative financial path worth pursuing. And then the last girl went ahead proved me wrong.
This actually starts off as a painal vid, but much like Cuba Gooding Jr.'s acting career, that only lasts for about 14 seconds. From there on it's all pleasure, and by 'pleasure' I mean nervous system-disabling assgasms so hot even Stephen Hawking would pop wood.
You know you had fun when the next day you wake up with a concussion and realize you not only left your phone, but you also forgot your clothes, underwear, sunglasses and self-respect at the club.
Another posse of preoccupied partially sentient protagonists wondering if they could but never questioning if they should. These things would have never happened if they just gave Jeff Goldblum the Oscar.
Moscow drug mule gets into a personal world war with her own rectum, most likely the result of an all kholodets diet (look it up). Jiggy Saw himself once said: "When there's that much poison in your blood, the only thing left to do, is shoot yourself." In other words; She attempted to no-scope and succeeded beautifully.
A socially inept goober gets a job getting jerked off by a hottie and manages to fuck it up, dashing his dreams of porn stardom in the process. It's like the movie Rudy, if Rudy was thrown out the game before ever playing and never scored.
