Amazing Feats of Amateur Porn

There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Those who respect the human bodies maximum pounds-per-square inch tolerance, and those who do not. Guess which one is getting featured today? HINT: They've never had a flat tire in their life.

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Unacceptable Devices

Consider this a 4 minute tutorial on why you should always stay away from those folks that consider a $50.00 Mernard's gift card a form of foreplay. Remember Norman Vincent's words: “Always shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the hepatitis."

Horribly Catchy Musical Pornography

In Russia, a fake farm equipped with disco lights and some thot lip syncing catchy dance music while fucking for 20 minutes is quality porn. I'm not totally convinced, but the song does have a 'pavlov's dog' effect on my boner now.

02/05/15 LULZ

Porn That Shouldn't Exist: 6

Amazonian domination, severe rectal irrigation tutorials and we finish strong with the 99th reason to always leave classic movies in their original form. More here: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

10/30/25 Amateur

Tricked Into Fisting

The Oakland Doorknob. German Knuckle Cake. Mongolian Taco Punching. Not buying Bitcoin when it was 73 cents. It goes by a lotta different names. But the shame... thats always the same.

11/17/17 Girlsway Fisting

Butt Plug Kite Flying

Another historical moment that will make you question inter-metropolitan leisure, or reason #274 trailer parks will never receive subsidized housing? I don't know, but Benjamin Franklin didn't die for this.

08/13/26 LULZ

E-Girls Are Neurodivergent

Yeah uhh, I don't think this influencer thing is going to work out long term.

06/04/26 Crazy

"YOU DO THAT?!"

11/08/26

36 Inches, No Fears

If you think that number is talking about hog dimensions, you will be sorely mistaken. It seems this attraction has stricter height limitations than Six Flag's El Toro. You gotta measure less than 4 feet tall, well-versed in THOTology and be next in line for a fight with Jake Paul. Brutal. Part 1 [HERE] Part 2 [HERE] Support [HERE]

02/01/24 Mildly Retarded

She Fucks Moolionairs

Fangirl shits pinecones after overhearing pornstar Brian Pumper refer to her as a 'bitch'. Blows are exchanged & shit gets ugly, but the real battle is all verbal, with ego-busting insults like "u think i wud tweet about u? I FUCK MOOLIONAIRES NIGGUH". Fucking brutal.

05/15/12 LULZ

Girlfriend Of The Year 2K17

Bridge piercing, stomach tattoos and the occasional rush to the emergency room for soft tissue damage. May I be so bold to say I haven't seen this level of intensity since The Shining.

08/13/17 Amateur

Olympic Level Creampie

"Every choice comes with a consequence. Once you make a choice, you must accept responsibility. You cant escape the consequences of your choices, whether you like them or not, no matter how deep the rabbit hole goes." - Roy T. Bennett

Amateur Pornography Is Weird

hmm, strange. Here I am thinking the whole "i'm training to turn my uterus into a parking garage for hellcats" was no longer a lucrative financial path worth pursuing. And then the last girl went ahead proved me wrong.

03/14/25 Amateur
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