Breakdown BEFORE The Anal?

We're about to document the dream of a girl that's had more sexual partners than Tom Brady's 2022 passing yards, or create the gentleman's guide to recreational pharmaceutical use. Either way: NO REFUNDS.

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This example of why you should periodically review your fiber intake, goes by the name Baby Swabery. Due to her age, I'll be approaching this description accordingly: no cap the jumbo deluxe chimmichanga lunch special was a mf'n mistake, fr the situation is NOT bussin.

The Worst Casting Couch Video Ever

The downside to dating a girl with the self-awareness of a TikTok investor? Literally nothing. Not even an unannounced visit to vegemite valley is enough to send her running. Either we have a cold-blooded liar on our hands, or that pudding hatch is spring-loaded.

When Cheaters Win

Say hello to your new role model. His half-cocked baguette has seen more trauma than a Chicago emergency room, yet he's able to completely 180 the loyalty of one of the most bangin girls on the planet. Guess that old saying is true: Don't judge a book until it's deposited $250 into your bank account.

Cheap Whores and Dinosaurs

You can brag about your male pattern baldness all you want homeboy. But if you're not turning all vaginas within a 3 mile distance into your own personal bowl of Hungry Jack Mashed Potatoes, are you even living the Costanza?

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My Life Without A Cock

Meet Trent Gates, A self-described 22 year old powerbottom twink that runs a website that features helpful how-to's, info, videos and even an entire community based around cutting off your genitals.

05/13/18 WTF

Warning: Advanced Users ONLY

11 Seconds: That's the average time it takes for one family-sized order of Chang's Orange Chicken to kick flip it's way out of my body and make it's way back to the manure farm. It's also the amount of time it takes the new poster girl for "LOLIDGAF" to get the official Efukt seal of approval. You're welcome.

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Japanese Porn Is FUCKING CRAZY

You know you're in the golden age of porn when someone consults Michael Bay for their scene. Too bad the novelty of implied homicide wears off pretty quick when you have to multitask cumshots with Die Hard 1.

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Russian Noob Can't Invade Sex Industry

Nope, not even giving you a participation trophy for this one. I've sat through episodes of The Golden Girls with more enthusiasm. FREE TIP: When geriatric sitcoms produce stiffer erections than ur performance, it might be time rethink the whole iNdEpeNdenT wOmAn thing.

How to Survive a Gangbang

The downside of crossbreeding compassion with an industry that considers rectal depth as a measuring stick for paycheck tiers? Every dude within the city boundaries will be socializing your cornhole like it's Chinese healthcare. edit: I decided to see what Sativa was up to nowadays... and... well... I was not disappointed

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When Fapping Goes Wrong

Although this scene of Gianna Micheals finger banging herself had to be cut short after only 4 mins, Gianna proves once again how badass she is and just finishes the scene best she can.

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How To Have Cyber Sex!

Many, many years ago, in the days of old known as 1997, an instructional VHS was forged. Watch and learn how to master the art of one handed typing with post-aspergers Winnie Cooper from the "Wonder Years".

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