"The Best Experience of My Life"

I'll leave you with some wisdom my acquaintance at Panda Express bestowed upon me: Never underestimate a woman's will to feed. She may have the phenotype of a New Jersey soccer mom... but when the adrenaline hits, watch the fuck out.

Related Videos

Incredible Acts, Depraved Humans 5

Mobilized midgets, successfully executed autocunnilngus and the recreation of a sexual maneuver that put Okinawa on the map. It's safe to say this hodgepodge of misfits is more well rounded than a Golden Corral dinner special. Want more? PARTS: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-]

Psychotic 18 Year Old Terrorizes Strangers

One of those rare moments where I can overlook the obvious health code violations because the performance is legendary. Be sure to leave them a ★★★★★ Yelp review. Something along the lines of: Service was fast. Getting pubic lice was faster.

08/07/23 Crazy

Awkward Moments In Porn 1

Like when you can't think of a description, cuz you realize everything you post is awkward... fuck.

Two Reichs Make A Wrong

Here it is. Three minutes of the 2nd most apprehensive plot lines that can escape the human brain during a spirited round of Billy Blanks Tae Bo 3-Pack DVD and resistance bands combo set on sale now at Amazon for Black Friday. Use promo code: BERGHOF

11/18/24 Crazy

The Ole' Switcharoony

She's got a secret. And it's not her immigration status.

08/28/17 LULZ

Public Degeneracy Volume 9

Today's visuals couldn't get better if you slammed an Ambien cocktail and hit the boardwalk wearing nothing but a smile and Walmart's finest body spray. Speaking of New Jersey, not even [-carl-] himself would be caught $7 dollars deep in whatever spawned in the last clip.

Rave To The Grave

Without looking up their robust discography, I'm going to say there's at least a 275% chance Insane Clown Posse wrote a song about this. Over/under anyone?

07/02/26 Horror Porn WTF

Proof that Money Can Buy ANYTHING

There's just no hiding from your past once you pull the trigger on something like this. Their Ross Store wardrobes will be forever stained. The regret can't be washed off. And the $27 paycheck isn't enough to drink the memories away. #crankthattherapist

DELETED IN 24HRS

08/09/26

Intergalactic Pussy Invasion

Start Door Dashing your scottish woodcocks, and fire up the Tay Tay playlist because you're about to witness the pinnacle of crossbreeding the Starship Troopers prequel we never got with a porn studio that actually has funding. Ridley Scott; Take notes.

03/03/25 Horror Porn Bizarre

2024 Was Pure Fucking Chaos

Another chapter closed in a book that Barnes & Noble insists on displaying in the Sci-Fi section. Normally read in the dimly lit corner of a trailer park that doesn't show up on Google maps, surrounded by Newports and half-eaten cans of Costco's finest meatball ravioli.

12/26/24 Favorites

Deaf Azn Girl

Meet Kim, the bombshell Azn who can't hear shit. Our genius porn hero guy figures to write down "me want fukky fukky" on paper and away we go. She only makes little soft vowel noises, it's pretty adorable.

Type ? for random video