Japan's Got Talent

Crushed Dreams Of Porn Stardom

These guys thinking they have what it takes to be porn stars makes as much sense as the story line for "Sharknado".

Sexy Triple Amputee Needs Money

She can't finger or fist herself but this hot little monopod is making some extra cash nubbing at her vagina for tokens. FAP FAP FAP

2 Bros Hire A Pornstar

For a guy that regularly goes super saiyan on bench warming OnlyFans girls, you'd think he'd have a pretty consistently heterosexual record under his belt. Well... [more here]

Asian Bitch In A Drainage Ditch

This one starts out as your typical day in Okinawa, but it looks like there's a tinge of legitimate concern before the credits roll. Guess it's just another one of those unfortunate side effects from engaging with a part of the world that considers mixed martial arts a form of roleplay.

THE EX YOU MISS

Unacceptable Devices XIV

Everybody has a gift. For some, it's convincing solid 4's to double up on their bald headed field mice while simultaneously solving a sudoku. For others, it's knitting. But that last girl? Whoever is writing the next Final Destination movie better start taking some fucking notes.

Degens Are Everywhere

Here it is: Martin Scorsese of Japanese what are you doing step-bro? porn. My thoughts? Guillermo del Toro and his production company have some catching up to do. I don't know wtf I just watched but personally, I think he should find a way to cast the Olsen twins in the sequel and let the tapioca fly.

Anal Virgin Didn't Come Prepared

LIFE LESSON #27: If you have worse rectal control than one of the golden girls; seek out another hobby. Last time I saw someone pay for skidmarking this abusive he was ultimately banned from Chipotle at the corporate level. (me, it was me) [song]

Horrendous Hookers

The downside of trying to get your nut off on a $7 dollar budget? This. Every fucking second of this video is why you should always save 10% of your sheckles and wait to splurge outside of the Black Friday Mental Hospital Manager's Special of expired street meat. #yick

Community Service In China

To the gulags...

The Absurdity of Japanese Pornography

A "last man standing" circle jerk to the death. After decades of being forced to censor genitals, Japanese smut producers have lost their minds.

The Girlfriend Experience

And by experience, I mean one man blowing up his beer money on the kind of sexual endeavor that would shell shock a Vietnam war veteran. Speaking of blowing up: The only thing missing from that slaughter house between her legs is someone in the background screaming wUrLstAr and Floyd Mayweather coming out of retirement to fight it.