Apologies to all the competition out there: pieallthetime not only locked down the entire Mountain Dew demographic, but she's done it with such precision I'm actually impressed. Enjoy your participation trophy nerds.
Dead men rise from grave to start fuck by any means. Can YOU stop zombie? Watch whole porn movie clip before decide. WARNING gunshots and cumshots with Zomb13. Watch @ own sufferings.
It's always rough times for busted drug addicted cum dumpsters. Learn what it really takes to become a professional sexual punching bag for the below average Joe willing to risk STD's for cheap sex.
What's mine is yours. And what's yours makes her think walking away from that 4-year degree in Anthropological Gender Studies of Amazonian Tree Frogs to do this instead was a bad idea.
Only 30% of these genetic anomalies come from Japan. The rest? Homegrown in the ole' U S of A. They could be your neighbors, your mailmen, even the friend you pay in Wendy's frosty coupons to perform the pittsburgh coal miner. Either way, they are among us.
That's it man. As far as I'm concerned vegans have officially jumped the plant-based shark. Not even at the height of one of my patented Acid Trip + Red Lobster Biscuit wombo combo benders did I envision something as despicable as this going behind a paywall.
These stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of the average degenerate human sharing space on this planet with you. Except that last one...It'd be more believable to call that woman a scientist, because the elements she's finding in there are undiscovered by man and Bill Nye.
Dudes that look like half-evolved Animorphs, Jurassic Park fetishizers and turning a 2 liter into a condom. And they are all getting laid on a regular basis. I'd suggest you let that sink in, but... the mud is already too deep.
Fun Fact: Herpetophiliacs Paleontologists don't really know how big a tyrannosaurus rex's penis actually was. Estimations are somewhere between 10 inches and 12 feet.
I'm not sure a woman with more parking space between her gooch than New York City is on my list of "boner material". But it's 2026 and trying new things was one of the resolutions. Right between losing 19lbs and using toilet paper.
