Outside of ejaculating to Nicolas Cage's death scene in The Wicker Man, no male celebrity will bring you remorse quite like Simon 'Dirt Nasty' Rex. Former MTV VJ, rolls with Andy Milonakis... and 20 years ago he took a $100 payday to stick his dick in Zack Morris' bedroom carpet. [Diss Track by Traplord Skybaby]
Some women require foreplay to get off. Others, Little Caesars 5 for $5.00. And then there's Jessica Carrboro aka The Crotch Vampire, who takes no less than a scoop of organic strawberry swirl to get moist. I say this with complete sincerity: You're not ready for her.
Nothing spells H-I-G-H M-A-I-N-T-E-N-A-N-C-E like a lady refusing a gift. TEH FACTS: They'll never look at a 2-Liter the same again, tolerance is non-negotiable and getting them to do a sequel? Well... that's about as likely as Lebron James growing a hairline. More [ HERE ] Song [ HERE ]
Perhaps 'audible' is the wrong word to use here, as it suggests this misfit anticipated the scene going any other possible way. She didn't. Trust me. I've been inside a Walmart parking lot on a Friday night - I know what I'm talking about. [Full Scene: HERE] [Remixes: HERE]
I feel like this has some deeper meaning than a porn parody of the exorcist. I just awed at it like it was a Salvador Dali painting or some shit, trying to figure out how my existence had brought me to this point. [FULL MOVIE]
He may be smaller than a fourth grader but this little nigga is huge in Japan right now. His name Koheynishi, he's 23 and he shoots, directs and even stars in his own line of JAV titles. [More: HERE / SONG1 and SONG2]
A near mentally disabled prostitute attempts to make it in porn. She amazingly fucks 5 guys in an average work day, but still totally fails at sex... So they decide to beat her up instead. haha. Full Scene: HERE or pay her for sex: HERE.
If you get aroused to non-consentual incest porn, you probably shouldn't tell anyone because you have a serious personality disorder and you probably come off weird already and have no idea. Full Scene + Moar: HERE
Five possibly boner killing clips from otherwise decent porn scenes. Featuring a magic penis that gives a girl the ability to communicate with water mammals as well as an unconscious teenager and another that cries. haha. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5] [ SONG]
Another edition of "anal goes wrong", featuring the perforation of a fuckable milf's blown out colon. The city of love probably hasn't seen this much blood since someone made some cartoons last year. [FULL SCENE]
A near senile senior citizen has the best day of his life at the expense of aspiring pornstar "Jane Doe", who realizes somewhere after the 2:00 mark, that porn just isn't for her and was never seen again. [SCENE / SONG]