He Cums In 5 Seconds Flat

His girlfriend doesn't sound too happy about his poor performance between her legs. They have anesthetic creams that work wonders for premature ejaculation. I'd say buy some.

Uploaded 05/20/08 Premature

fail, funny, homemade, loser, premature

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goon cave [plural goon caves] [Internet slang] An area or room dedicated to long masturbation sessions ["gooning"], often featuring a multi-monitor setup showing multiple pornographic contents simultaneously.


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