Hey Daddy, look what I can do!

How Pornstars Celebrate Birthdays

Mae Meyers single-handedly vaginally sets up her own BLM movement.

Hilarious Oral Sex Fail

College level alcoholism and risk seeking behavior has led them to a ratchet motel, wasted off vodka red bulls and making a quick $100 each. Shouldn't be any surprise that these girls never did porn again.

Single Worst Camshow in Russia

FORNICATION: It's pretty basic stuff. But for Goober McAutismo over here it might as well be mission impossible. What you're about to see may quite possibly be the worst excuse for sexual entertainment that's ever made it online... and that's coming from someone who sat through all 74 minutes of Edward Penishands. Twice.

19 YEAR OLD CHALLENGE

Spitters and Quitters 2

So, what exactly are we witnessing here? First attempts at delivering the beat down in meat town? Nervousness? I don't know for sure... but think of all the value meals this skill could unlock if practiced with the right discipline. 5 seasons of Cobra Kai taught me that. [PART I]

I'm Sorry, Did I Break Your Uterus?

Today we go on a spirited journey to a time forgotten; Behind the scenes of your average 2004 porn shoot. Special shoutout to Julian for being a role model during my college years. That man's lust for turning fallopian tubes into tier-3 tuna casserole should have earned the Martha Stewart seal of approval.

Teacher Of The Millennium

She's junior college educated, has a rack to premature ejaculate for, and isn't afraid to slob on the knob after her partner takes a trip to cornhole city. Superintendent Jackoff & Co can hate all they want, this angel is a keeper. Read the story HERE. See her nastiest videos in the source.

The OFFICIAL Queen of Weeaboos

Apologies to all the competition out there: pieallthetime not only locked down the entire Mountain Dew demographic, but she's done it with such precision I'm actually impressed. Enjoy your participation trophy nerds.

Czech Porn is Still Horrible

Essentially a hybrid of a "Got Milk?" PSA & a GWAR concert. Or in more comprehensive terms: 1-part health consciousness, 274-parts batshit fuckin aspergers. #NEVERFORGET.

The Deal Breaker

Classic case of overconfidence. If only he put as much effort into his hygiene as she did into Walmart bathrooms she choose to get tattooed in, then maybe this permanent mark on his resume could have been avoided. Live, learn and always wipe twice.

Awkward Moments in Porn 10

It's r/cringetopia levels of situations like this that really make adult filmography great again. If it wasn't for stellar performances like the ones you're about to witness, we would never know what it's like to live in West Virginia without having to marry out cousins first.

The Art Of Hating Cum

Here it is. The Citizen Kane of ewww your semen tastes like Gene Wilder's deceased asshole. Actually, I'm not entirely sure whether or not Gene is deceased, but I trust that the implied mental image is effective all the same.