Do their porno dreams come true? Fuck no. Instead, four average-ass mother fuckers attempt to make sex with the prestigious Christy Mack, and each and every one of them brutally embarrasses themselves.
One indisputable fact of life: Crossbreeding Arnold Schwarzenegger with anything will instantly improve it in every way. Even an extraordinarily overhyped meme girl that surprisingly, hasn't made me want to pull my third ball off (yet). Here's to those 15 minutes lasting another 5. PARTS: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-]
Meet Allen. At almost 50 years old, he's never had sex and is on the verge of losing all hope. Now it's up to a $400 goth hooker with a heart of gold to help him lose his virginity once and for all... or will he fuck it all up?
Ya know what. When you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a diabetic Snorlax, scoring women of this caliber probably needs to be celebrated. Congratulations to all these heroes. MORE: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [7]
[what you know]: Anyone that's had a TV on after 1:00AM between the years 1997 and 2003 are still trying to get this fucking theme song out of their heads. [what you don't know]: Doug "hobgoblin" Stanhope had the approachability of post-nut clarity Clint Howard. I demand a reboot.
Just what in the fucking Doogie Howser, M.D. are we witnessing here? I'd give him the big W for going the distance... but no amount of THOT slaying in the world is going to change the unfortunate genetic make up of that boogie board he calls a body. Congrats?
Not since accidentally walking into an unlocked Vietnamese restaurant bathroom at 2:00AM have I seen such disrespect for the lower half of an oriental female. And just like the rest of the Internet watching this - I am disgusted now. And 30 minutes from now.
