Search results for the machine

Reset Search Page

It Wont Go Any Deeper

Alright so last night I was on that Ask Alice site or some shit and it says the average vagina is only 6 inches deep. So I'm dying to know how the fuck does this guy fit a 2 foot balloon in his wifes pussy?

05/19/08 Insertions

Light Bulb Pussy

This is probably the most dangerous insertion I've seen yet. If her pussy was just a bit tighter, the pressure would've caused the bulb to shatter and the glass would've shredded her vagina to shit. Yikes!

05/17/08 Insertions

Kicked While Masturbating

This woman comes up with the genius idea to masturbate under a horse. But the horse isn't cool with that so it kicks her in the back and tells her to GTFO.

05/13/08 Fail

Sex With A Cannibal

That's right, this chick flies to Africa and fucks a member of a cannibalistic tribe. Fake? Probably, although those AK-47's look relatively real. The amount of effort the Japanese put into their pornos never fails to amaze me.

05/12/08 Asians

Hotdog Down A Hallway

There's enough room in there for my penis, your penis and 3 black men's penises. Definitely not my favorite combination but hey, it fits.

05/08/08 Insertions

How To Eat Pussy

Fuck, I remember downloading this video off of Napster back in 1999. It taught me the pussy eating skills that I have today and is directly responsible for dozens of sexually satisfied BBW's worldwide.

05/06/08 Orgasms

Pornstar Is Fed Up

They should use super soakers to deliver the cumshots instead. You could hit a woman right between the eyes from a good 15 feet away.

05/05/08 Fail

22 Year Old Loses His Virginity

He's 22 and still a virgin so his father put all his pennies together and bought his son a hooker for his birthday... a present weighing in at 200 pounds.

05/03/08 Virgins

Free Blowjobs At Rap Concert

I'm afraid it would take a lot more than a free blowjob to get me to sit through that shitty ass concert. I'm talkin ass 2 mouth at the very least.

05/02/08 Public

Bro Your Dick Is Broken

That's a pretty cool magic trick. I would imagine pissing isn't very fun though, probablly soils his pants every time he makes a trip to the bathroom.

04/27/08 Bizarre

How To Make A Girl Cum

If your penis is insufficient, watch this video and learn how to give a girl an orgasm so big that she'll giiggle like school girl and love you forever. This would be quite a change for me, most girls just spit in my face after sex. They just can't seem to appreciate ass 2 mouth.

04/19/08 Orgasms

The Troubles Of Making Porn

Apparently getting your dick hard for a hot pornstar isn't as easy as you'd think. I'd probably blow my load before even getting my cock out of my pants.

04/16/08 Fail

Goth Girl Gets Pierced

Genital piercings score you big points in the goth community.

04/15/08 Modifications

Making Porno Is Fun

These silly gooses take a short break from fucking and sucking to have a little lulz on set, because even pornstars need to have lulz every now and then.

04/09/08 Fail

Your Vagina Is Leaking

The cameraman is right. It does look like cottage cheese. I think I'm gonna puke.

03/31/08 Bizarre

You Beautiful Bitch

There is a new threat out there to hookers worldwide. It isn't HIV or the police, it's a dirty old man named Douglas who has made an art form out of verbally degrading prostitutes lol.

03/30/08 Amateur

Horny Couple Couldnt Wait

Luckily he's a premature ejaculator, otherwise a line would've started to form.

03/10/08 Public

The Conesquences

The medical bills for stitching up a busted asshole probally outweigh whatever she was paid to be in this porn. She doesn't even notice the prolapse happen lol.

03/02/08 Prolapse

Public Pissing Gone Wrong

This geezer takes offense to the concept. Would've been funnier if she was shitting. Much funnier.

02/15/08 LULZ

Cumshot Chaser

The taste of cum makes her wanna puke, so she uses orange juice as a chaser. Hey at least she swallows. You know you'd hit it.

01/23/08 Amateur
Type ? for random video