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Gangbanged Into Orgasmic Bliss

The sound of interracial lovemaking with Metallica blairing in the backdrop. It's not exactly easy on the ears but if you manage to watch it all the way through... this bitch has a pretty epic chewbaca-like orgasm. just at the end.

02/10/11 Orgasms

Who Wants Lasagna

First he bulldozes her ass till his cock turns brown. Then he moves up an orifice and gives her twat some chocolate-coated TLC... which is pretty much guaranteed to result in a wicked case of vaginitis but lets not spoil the fun. All things come to an end after he asks the most amazing question ever uttered in a pornographic film - "who wants lasagna?"

03/21/10 LULZ

MOM... FUUUUUUUUU!

This video was submitted with no audio track. Luckly I can read lips with precise accuracy, so I created some textual captions to compensate for the lack of dialogue. Pretty sure I nailed it on the head.

02/18/10 Busted!

Crackwhore Confesses To Incest!

Everytime her son's cock gets brought up, her eyes widen like a fat kid at Taco Bell. It's pretty creepy. Almost as creepy as that basketball-sized tumor hanging from her mid section. Seriously, what the fuck is that?

02/14/10 Hookers

Masturbation Fail

I hear that locking the door is a pretty efficient away of gaining privacy. Might wanna try that out sometime ya dumb bitch.

01/23/10 Busted!

OOPS! Wrong Hole!

I'd be pretty amazed/disappointed if that didn't at least cause a little internal bleeding. Emphasis on disappointed.

11/22/09 Wrong Holes

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

10/07/09 Fail

Symmetry Fail

Left one would make for a pretty good punching bag.

10/06/09

Hello, I'm Masturbating To You

Who needs porno when you have... fat black bitches in bathing suits? Pretty much everyone but this guy.

07/30/09 Exhibition

Vocal Vagina

It can talk. Pretty sure I saw it spit a few times too.

04/28/09 Gape

My Bitch Is Kinky

Some pretty good dialogue in this one. A warm thank you to the creator of these videos for letting me post em, eFukt loves you... and your kinky Harley bitch.

04/17/09 LULZ

Grandma Hasn't Fucked In 15 Years

After a cockless decade of lonely nights, Granny is back in action. She's a wee bit senile (The Exorcist comes to mind), but lucky for Billy her pole-riding skills haven't withered quite as badly as the rest of her. She can actually recite your name in a dozen different frequencies as she works the cock. Pretty impressive for a senior citizen.

04/09/09 Mildly Retarded

Make Momma Proud

I'm pretty sure just about everyone gets caught having sex by their parents at some point in life. Well maybe not if you're an orphan, but it definitely happened to me. I was playing Tetris, level 34, as the neighborhood hoe performed fellatio on my Ultra Magnus. I put in a special request to mother for some Nachos Bell Grande, assuming I'd be finished prior to delivery. Needless to say my calculations were a bit off.

01/05/09 Busted!

LOL I Made You Gag

He seems pretty happy about his achievement. Try doing the same thing again except next time stick your cock in her ass first. When she comes up to blow you she won't gag, she'll just puke. It's called "ass 2 mouth". I invented it.

12/14/08 Fail

Stop Trying To Fuck Me

Usually when the girl flops around like a fish it means she's having a pretty intense orgasm and needs a quick time out. Dildo baggins here didn't get the memo.

11/23/08 Orgasms

Death By Vaginal Cockroach

This is from a Russian film called Philosophy Of A Knife. It's about the Japanese Unit 731... the one that pretty much spent a decade coming up with ridiculous ways to kill people. It's basically just 4 hours of torture. Fun fun fun. While we're on the subject, I'm in preproduction on a post-apocalyptic thriller about punk rock necrophiliacs. Really could use some female talent. Hit me up!

11/19/08 Bizarre

He Can Make A Girl Cum

In the past few months the "how to make a girl cum" video has received over a million views. One of those viewers tested out the technique on his girlfriend and sent us footage of the results. Pretty cool!

07/16/08 Amateur

Not In My Pooper

Initially she makes it pretty clear that she doesn't want anything in her ass. But our hero Johnny Cock Rocket uses the powers of persuasion and before you know it he's making sweet love to her festering cornhole. Not exactly fap worthy but if you're like me you'll fap anyway.

05/27/08 Amateur

Bro Your Dick Is Broken

That's a pretty cool magic trick. I would imagine pissing isn't very fun though, probablly soils his pants every time he makes a trip to the bathroom.

04/27/08 Bizarre
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