Who Wants Lasagna

Dismantling an 80lb Pornstar

This girl might as well be the Napoleon Dynamite of fetish videos. (read: perfection). Doesn't even need to be penetrated. Just watching life flash before her eyes in between each fault line cracking was enough to keep my Fruit of the Looms soggy.

NOW YOU'RE FAMOUS

Awful Moments in Internet Pornography

A public service announcement on the cons and cons of searching for costars in Craigslist's general section. If their intimate relationship with $5 scratch off tickets doesn't erect your cock, the aroma of Newport Menthols probably will.

The Regret is REAL

From stone cold fox, to Stone Cold Steve Austin. #fap

O MY FUKING GAWD

OMFG

You Wanna be a Pornstar? FOR REAL?

Some will click this and see a beautiful human being. Others will acid bath their routers & set themselves on fire knowing they've achieved less vaginal supremacy than a guy commonly mistaken for memory foam. Choose your own destiny.

Double Anal Downfall

It's like the girl with the super hip mom that totally supports her daughter getting ring-blasted by guys named after sports cars got a pep talk and couldn't wait to bring it on the grid iron. Then gets jobbed out like the 2008 Detroit Lions. A Karen of the Kum world if you will. TY for listening to my cunTED talk.

An Unfortunate Turn of Events

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

The Return Of 'Gentle Breakdown' Girl

Remember the frigid chick that randomly started sobbing in the middle of a Rocco shoot? It was actually pretty touching, to both my heart & my penis. But apparently that encounter was only chapter 1 in a saga of piss-poor decisions.

The Most Talented Homeless Girl in London

Local vagrant takes us on a journey that blurs the line between southern cooking and female independence, as illustrated by a sex act that's led to more infections than a Marilyn Manson concert. Never before has adult entertainment made me prouder of my KFC rewards points.

The Unluckiest Guy in Russia

You know that feeling: When it's 0600 hours, the sun is shining, and you find yourself 4-inches deep inside the only girl that believed your story about using the same plumber as Zac Efron. In other words: Perfection. That is, unless Lucya "The Wolverine" Chernyshevsky is leader of the neighborhood watch.

Incest Porn Worthy of an Oscar

Say hello to your new idol. He's a recent graduate from the WWE school of acting for the mentally challenged and still manages to pull more suburban MILF poon then a 4-starred gynecologist on YELP. This particular desperate housewife is a prime example of why you should always FYD.