Breaking traditional workout regimes, NASA-sponsored ejaculations and Skynet inching ever closer to harvesting our organs through the channel of A.I. powered sex transformers. If the next 8 minutes doesn't shine a more positive light on your life, nothing will. I'm here to help.
Let me formally introduce you to GM. aka Grandpa Merrick. aka Wrinkle Rocker. aka Mr. Steal Yo Girl. Rather than live out his twilight years chasing dusty jellyfish, he wakes up every day and chooses violence. And intravenous Cialis.
Another quarter, another gaggle of beatniks that are one step closer to finding a way to fit more military equipment in their gravy cave than an aircraft carrier. Emphasis on the mini gorlock seen around the 5:45 mark. You'll never look at cave diving the same again.
Looks like being a camgirl is rough these days. Stuck living at home, she has to pull off stealthy ninja faps and even do her cam whoring literally right next to her unsuspecting mother.
23 years of positive thinking and rectal (in)tolerance have manifested themselves in a mint condition 2024 episode of live webcam failures, goofs and all around chucklefuck situations that probably didn't transpire as originally expected. gnomesayin?
For my Japanese-deficient friends, the original title of this masterpiece roughly translates to: "Nana Maeno Refrigerator Girl I Put My Step Sister In The Refrigerator And Turned Her Into A Frozen Sex Toy Nana" Do I believe more than 3% of those words? No. But honesty never got in between me and my cum sock before, and it isn't about to start now.
Some women require foreplay to get off. Others, Little Caesars 5 for $5.00. And then there's Jessica Carrboro aka The Crotch Vampire, who takes no less than a scoop of organic strawberry swirl to get moist. I say this with complete sincerity: You're not ready for her.
Another edition featuring triflin' ass hoes, hood rats of all kinds and a singing crack head with erectile problems. They call him Uncle Jim and he can do any unskilled miscellaneous task for the low-low.
Prozac-deficient e-girls are a welcomed sight here at eFukt... but this post isn't about the daddy issues. It's about intensity. These temper tantrums cut deeper than a Twitter feed, and while that might not be saying much, I'm confident you'll be impressed.
A couple of yahoos get caught mashin potatoes during happy hour. Not very conspicuous about it either. Remember that one weirdo in school that always dropped his pants to the floor in front of the urinal? This is what happens when he grows up.
