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There Goes My Porn Career

Full video available from BangBros.

3,874,811 views 02/06/10 Bangbros Premature

Maid Mayhem

These men have truly mastered the art of sexually harassing migrant workers. Bravo. But I do believe it's time to take that next step forward - The Ritz Carlton. All white maids with 34d titties. Make daddy proud.

3,512,771 views 01/14/10 Exhibition

Sharing Is Caring

Snowballing? Fuck that. I'd rather toss my girlfriend's salad directly after shitting out 2 pounds of kung pao chicken than be orally introduced to my own man jam. Too many calories bro.

1,586,794 views 09/14/09 LULZ

Dinner Is Served

Vagina - a la carte.

587,294 views 02/06/09

Half Woman Half Donkey

Not even for 10k would I stick my dick between those chompers. Mr. Ed would mistake my willy for a carrot and I'd get circumcised all over again.

812,820 views 01/03/09

Go Away Bro, I'm Masturbating

This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.

1,054,256 views 10/19/08 Busted!

Big Dick Syndrome

Aye carumba! Nice elephant cock dood! But I forsee 1 little problem... the only creatures with big enough holes for you to fuck are large horses and gay pornstars who've been subjected to olympian gangbangs. Tough break bro!

6,585,841 views 08/26/08 Big Dicks

Pornstar Gets A New Vagina

Her vagina lips looked like they belonged in an Arbys roast beef sandwhich. This was bad for her career so she set out on a perilous journey to unbeef her pussy and close the gape once and for all.

1,671,988 views 08/17/08 Beef Curtains

Ouch Her Pussy Hurts

Big penises can be dangerous. Better be careful or they'll poke your eye out.. and maybe your cervix too.

2,710,979 views 07/27/08 Fail

Mean Sluts Ridicule Noob

This video really hits close to home. I too was once ridiculed for bustin my sloppy goo nuts prematurely. My ego was scarred and so was my penis (herpes). Watching this brings it all back. So to the Hispanic slut who was the most vocal during the humiliation: Space Dock, Strawberry Cheesecake, and a Tony Danza. All for you. All at once.

1,723,209 views 07/13/08 FuckTeamFive Premature

How To Become A Pornstar

Careful! Rough sex is now the standard in the adult industry. A lengthy career in porn will cost you a prolapsed rectum, torn vagina and a shitload of STD's. I'd stick to becoming a doctor if I was you.

1,907,702 views 06/06/08 Parody

Vagina Weight Lifting 2

I'd like to see her pull a small car with those meat curtains. That would actually impress me.

1,284,132 views 12/26/07 Bizarre

Horny Little Smurfs

This is one of the oldest adult cartoons ever made. Fuck hentai, it's all about the classics!

2,169,977 views 02/01/07 LULZ
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