I wish my parents had been as considerate in their choosing of a babysitter. For 7 years they stuck me with Ethiopian dyke that wore basketball attire exclusively. Nearly left me with an inverted penis.
What's that old saying again? If a mint condition cornhole exists, Pierre Woodman will abuse it more than a penalty shot kicker from England? Unlike Snaggletooth McButtfuck over here, those three lads can sit down on a hard surface for the next month without consequence.
Speculation time: Virginal? Medical condition? The mating ritual of the Monarch Middle-aged Edokko? We may never know the real answer, but one thing is certain: His speed-running ability would earn front page access on Twitch. No questions asked.
No, seriously don't. Every once in a while pornography life overlaps into real life lessons. Let's just be glad this learning experience was made possible without the assistance of Czechoslovakian accents, and a petting zoo. You don't want to see the things I've seen man.
AKA "How to fuck teenagers for 60% off." So a little burnout QT3.14 thought she could get some extra weed money for some anal. Only problem is she's never done anal and has no idea the hurtin' she's in for.
Auto-fellaters, Braingasms and a straight up public service announcement fists should only be use in a boxing ring. Today's episode is more unforgiving than my local mall security that time I was discovered defecating in Anthropologie's Aromatic and Ambiance fragrance section.
New year, same loathing for frost faced Bavarian cream. Gonna go ahead and give this episode my mushroom stamped seal of approval, if anything at all for giga gag at the 2:25 mark. Haven't seen eyes roll that hard since reading the employees must wash their hands sign in a Texas Roadhouse bathroom.
In Russia, a fake farm equipped with disco lights and some thot lip syncing catchy dance music while fucking for 20 minutes is quality porn. I'm not totally convinced, but the song does have a 'pavlov's dog' effect on my boner now.
Another edition of "anal goes wrong", featuring the perforation of a fuckable milf's blown out colon. The city of love probably hasn't seen this much blood since someone made some cartoons last year.
