Meme Porn: Sometimes it's about as exciting as an audio book of Gordon Ramsay customizing a value meal at Burger King. But throw in a guy with 2 moms, pay him in dollar-store pastries -- and suddenly you've got more fapping hours than you'll know what to do with.
LIFE LESSON #27: If you have worse rectal control than one of the golden girls; seek out another hobby. Last time I saw someone pay for skidmarking this abusive he was ultimately banned from Chipotle at the corporate level. (me, it was me) [song]
Every so often I come across an individual that makes me ask: How much tarantula fucking middle aged misguided trailer park moonshine did they drink before this became a good idea? It's like someone took Rosie O'Donnell and made it harder to see her naked.
Of all the ways to absolutely starch what's left of your testosterone, scarfing down Milli Vanilli's splash damage was the last fucking thing I had my bingus card. Watching a stranger crack your s/o's purple turkey just doesn't make sense to me. Then again, anytime someone makes middle aged women squeal like a 2 for 1 HomeGoods sale, eyebrows are raised.
Farted on, finger banged, told he looks like fuckin Robin Williams - this dude endures pain you can't even imagine. Fortunately he's a Sum 41 mosh pit survivor and holds a blackbelt in making Terminator-esque sound effects whilst flailing his arms like a fucking idiot, so it's all good.
Dare venture beyond the realm of myfreecams and you're bound to open a door to the insane asylum known as The Hola18 Wormhole. The only way out is being left with the kind of irreparable confusion felt by someone making it to the end credits of a movie with the words "Tyler Perry" in the title.
30 seconds in and two things will become apparent: 1) You've been grossly mislead about Nebraska's tourism attractions. And 2) At least 50% of the people who seek these videos out individually, have ejaculated to the Nordstrom catalogue. Home decor section.
The downside of trying to get your nut off on a $7 dollar budget? This. Every fucking second of this video is why you should always save 10% of your sheckles and wait to splurge outside of the Black Friday Mental Hospital Manager's Special of expired street meat. #yick
Easily the most try-hard bogus bullshit performances I've seen since YouTube's 'social experiment' revolution went off the rails. I have to point out though: nobody was injured, student loans were paid and girl #1's convulsions can double as a permanent case study for epilepsy. #win
For a minute there I was starting to lose faith in degenerate white guy's ability to keep me entertained. Then I was introduced to a fetish with more questions than Sylvester Stallone's medicine cabinet.
The insane story of an emotionally disabled prostitute/pornstar/sugar baby/urinal-for-hire with HPV and herpes that literally wrote the book - 9 times. She claims her dead sugar daddy made her a millionaire and now haunts her... wow.
