Classic case of overconfidence. If only he put as much effort into his hygiene as she did into Walmart bathrooms she choose to get tattooed in, then maybe this permanent mark on his resume could have been avoided. Live, learn and always wipe twice.
At this point, self-aware cousin fuckers really deserves their own sub-genre. Decades of inbreeding and limiting toothbrush ownership to 1-per-household has carved itself into a niche that I can only describe as recession proof Walmart porn. Ohio sends it's regards.
A jackass inspired stunt gone sexual ends very badly for the LoL platinum player responsible for conceiving such an act of genius. Luckily our hero isn't concerned with things like dignity, human contact or a fully functioning penis.
Undoubtedly the most erotic thing I've seen since responding to an OKCupid message from a girl named The Violator. Results were similar if you replace 'cumshot' with 'Hellmans Tartar Sauce'. And 'private affair' with 'Burger King during rush hour'.
We all have a calling. It may not be skeet shooting Reddi Wip's finest, or hitting a PB in Super Mario 64. But for homeboy at the 6:25 mark replicating what he saw on Discovery Channel's Rise of Warrior Chimps, life finally has a purpose. More: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [-7-] [-8-]
Hey, no one said you had to like it Natalie Portman. Just lean forward, keep a tight grip on those communal wieners and think about all the Baconators you'll be able to purchase at the end of the week. That's what keeps me going. Her first appearance HERE.
Big fat curved penis sends a fresh wad of home cooked Twinky filling right back into the face of it's creator. It's not a problem I expect to incur any time soon but I do retain faith in the bottle of Extenze my sister so kindly purchased me last xmas. Similar videos HERE & HERE.
I dunno man... this seems like a pretty predictable outcome to me. Shes got the tolerance of silicon carbide and the prick practicing Macho Man's entire moveset is more annoying than a checkmarked Twitter account. Permanent damage should be expected.
Somebody in the original comments was yappin about no proof this is his first time. My main man; 3 seconds of glazing over this specimen's choice in facial hair, vocabulary and thinking CPR is a form a cunnilingus says otherwise. Peep another awkward rookie [here].
LIFE LESSON #27: If you have worse rectal control than one of the golden girls; seek out another hobby. Last time I saw someone pay for skidmarking this abusive he was ultimately banned from Chipotle at the corporate level. (me, it was me) [song]
Some see this director as romantic and passionate, others see his films as pure degrading and exploitative smut. IDK personally, but watching him shoot a screaming jizz wad into her esophagus is pretty neat.
It's pretty unbelievable what kind of deals still exist if you're willing to put in the work and find them. No need to negotiate on price either. Just lay down your $27USD and let the all you can eat vaginitis begin.
Notice Tom Byron (dude on bottom) does all the thrustin, while the noob on top sits idle? Apparently the sensation of having another man's cock rubbing against your own proved all too much for this 1st timer. He immediately premature busts... and it lands all over Tom Byron's poor cock n balls!
Tiny Texie is built like an action figure and Cotton Candi is 1 Wendy's coupon book away from putting the entire insulin industry on tilt. In other words: This may be the greatest love story our generation has ever told.
Hobo Jones coughs up 5 singles for a back alley knob-slob. Takes all but 23 seconds to reach climax, at which point he immediately helps himself to a full refund by forcefully robbing her and running for dear life... leaving her in the dust with a mouthful of bum cum! Instant classic.
Last time she was getting the carnitas railroaded out of her instead of doing something useful, like filing a name change application. Today tho? Today a borderline Alzheimers patient secures her spot in the record books for "Best First Week in Porn Ever". Call Guinness.
Get ready to endure more than 9 of the craziest and most intense orgasms ever filmed. Orgasms that "feels good on muh dick" and require the use of phrases like "hosed down", "came buckets" and sloots saying "omg" 9001x.
I'm getting the impression the lady at the 1:04 mark is no stranger to shotgunning a couple servings of Butthole du Jour after a succulent Chinese meal. But flip a camera on and the nerves clap her trap faster than a the DM's from a Discord moderator. More HERE.
