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Stripped, Beaten & Burned

Don't feel too bad... a.) she committed armed robbery and b.) she looks like Bette Midler. Emphasis on factor #2. Read the full story HERE.

3,018,418 views 12/18/09 Gallery

Babysitting Fail

I wish my parents had been as considerate in their choosing of a babysitter. For 7 years they stuck me with Ethiopian dyke that wore basketball attire exclusively. Nearly left me with an inverted penis.

5,521,678 views 12/03/09 LULZ

OOPS! Wrong Hole!

I'd be pretty amazed/disappointed if that didn't at least cause a little internal bleeding. Emphasis on disappointed.

5,562,240 views 11/22/09 Wrong Holes

The Sherminator

Props to the ginger on his pipe laying skills. Honestly haven't heard a woman scream that loud since the time I was caught defecating in front of Blockbuster in protest to late fees accumulated on my rental of The Neverending Story 3 (director's cut). Good times.

1,806,680 views 11/20/09 Orgasms

The Inside Out Girl

Her asshole resembles the neck of a kid that's just been decapitated. Hmmm. Sounds like fap time if you ask me.

2,147,680 views 10/30/09 Prolapse

Yo No Quiero Butt Fuck

I posted this awhile back but the clip was ruined by god awful Mexican music. Luckily an alternative version has now surfaced. Less Ricky Martin. More cries of pain.

2,045,396 views 10/20/09 Painal

Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

1,801,812 views 09/16/09 Groped

Anal With Constipated Girlfriend

I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.

1,819,321 views 09/09/09 LULZ

The Sex Life Of A Dwarf

Repost? Technically yes. But the addition of Beetlejuice getting titty-blasted by some random bitch makes it well worth a second viewing. I promise.

1,923,985 views 07/25/09 Mildly Retarded

Gone With The Wind

It's a bird. It's a plane. It's.... two thinly sliced pieces of USDA Select Grade roast beef attached to a big titted slut.

1,352,851 views 07/08/09 Brazzers LULZ

Assisted Entry

I spy anal residue.

787,776 views 06/01/09

When Senior Citizens Attack

Had me ROFL'ing up until the point that he started bashing her face in like Mike Tyson. That was my cue to bust out the Jergens.

1,579,273 views 05/22/09 Vintage

Cleanup On Orifice Number 1

This is a fetish known as 'cuckold cleanup'. Usually it involves a closet homosexual who gets off on pimpin his wife out to random strangers. Often the husband will sit in the corner and actually videotape as his significant other gets pounded by foreign cock. Once the creampie has been injected, it's like 'all you can eat' night at Red Lobster. Yum yum eat em up.

1,608,090 views 02/21/09 Cuckold

Unwanted Product Placement

That's bad. Really bad. Pepsi should sue.

625,077 views 01/25/09

Your Cock Will Never Be That Big

Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.

2,713,625 views 01/16/09 Amateur

Oops, My Pussy Farted

It's only blooper if it involves a prolapse or someone unwantedly getting poo on their wang. That's the eFukt standard, you all know that. But for this, I just had to make an exception.

1,499,784 views 12/29/08 Kink.com Fail

Pornstar Nearly Impales Herself

Mullet girl doesn't seem to realize that a dildo this large is likely to cause internal bleeding. Had it actually penetrated her vagina - she'd go down in medical history as the first gynecology patient to have no need for a speculum.

2,152,178 views 12/17/08 Insertions

LOL I Made You Gag

He seems pretty happy about his achievement. Try doing the same thing again except next time stick your cock in her ass first. When she comes up to blow you she won't gag, she'll just puke. It's called "ass 2 mouth". I invented it.

2,887,602 views 12/14/08 Fail

BOOM! Your Ass Is Busted!

What happens when you put a huge cock and a tiny asshole together and shake it up a whole bunch? Prolapsicus maximus, that's what. I never finished med school but it's my professional suggestion that she pick up a pack of band-aids on the way home.

2,604,292 views 12/12/08 Fail

Amputee Porn Gone Bad

All the things that made amputee porn so great just got shitted on by whoever made this so called 'erotic film'. Amputee porn is about disabled, submissive (and usually defenseless) women being fucked by men with exceedingly large penises. I refuse to have it any other way.

2,469,300 views 12/10/08 Amputee
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