I don't know what's funnier: the fact that a professional cocksmith accidentally blew his load in the middle of a lap dance or the chunky bitch's facial expression after getting blasted with man sauce. Both are most definitely Kodak moments.
This is the story of Lara Roxx - a French Canadian who's career as a hardcore pornstar was derailed before it even began. She contracted HIV just after her first shoot - which involved taking 2 fat cocks up the ass simultaneously... aka "double anal"... aka just beggin for a blood transfusion.
I cant even imagine how many jackoff sessions came to a halt after this saggy-assed dinosaur stepped in front of the camera. How the fuck are you supposed to beat off when 50% of the screen is devoted to the puckering balloon knot of a gay porn veteran? Honestly...
First he bulldozes her ass till his cock turns brown. Then he moves up an orifice and gives her twat some chocolate-coated TLC... which is pretty much guaranteed to result in a wicked case of vaginitis but lets not spoil the fun. All things come to an end after he asks the most amazing question ever uttered in a pornographic film - "who wants lasagna?"
Perhaps my logic in somewhat flawed - but you'd think that someone who's devoted their life to sucking animal dick would at least have the courtesy to convert to vegetarianism. You heartless bitch.
DJ Jackoff ventures into the wrong part of town to land himself a $5 piece of ivory pussy. However, his efforts are thwarted mid-fellatio by a local warlord known as The V-Man (short for Vaginal Master) who's heavily armed with "rocks and sheet". My oh my!
No better way to celebrate your last day of singledom by sticking 2 Vienna sausages up the vadge of a $12 whore. They made a push for 3 but the sea donkey insisted her cunt was already at max capacity. Uh huh.
This video was submitted with no audio track. Luckly I can read lips with precise accuracy, so I created some textual captions to compensate for the lack of dialogue. Pretty sure I nailed it on the head.
I wish my parents had been as considerate in their choosing of a babysitter. For 7 years they stuck me with Ethiopian dyke that wore basketball attire exclusively. Nearly left me with an inverted penis.
Props to the ginger on his pipe laying skills. Honestly haven't heard a woman scream that loud since the time I was caught defecating in front of Blockbuster in protest to late fees accumulated on my rental of The Neverending Story 3 (director's cut). Good times.
I posted this awhile back but the clip was ruined by god awful Mexican music. Luckily an alternative version has now surfaced. Less Ricky Martin. More cries of pain.
This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.
I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.
