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I Wanna Be A Pornstar

A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.

10/04/08 Modifications

Her Pussy Needs Stitches!

Cocks like this ought to be illegal, punishable by castration. Anything above 13 inches has got to go. They'll poke your eye out, prolapse your ass and leave with you a cocktail of STD's.

09/30/08 Bizarre

He Can Suck His Own Dick

You think you've got it good? This dude has a curled mullet and a 7 inch cock that he can suck all on his own. Jealous right? Now before you do that semi backwards somersault, you should really read up on the dangers associated with autofellatio. Wouldn't want you to snap your neck or get some terrible STD.

09/28/08 Bizarre

Psycho Spasms Out Of Control

This seems to be one of the rare instances where a woman can orgasm with little or no physical stimulation of the genitals. In this particular case, it looks like the deepthroating and/or gagging is what's triggering her orgasm.

09/27/08 Orgasms

Chef Boyardee Jizzes Upon Contact

Poor bastard, he's the real life version of the premature ejaculator from American Pie. I'd like to see him masturbate. All he has to do is poke his cock with his index finger and it's a done deal.

09/25/08 Premature

Tricked Into Having Gay Sex

Moral of the story: always be able to identify the person sucking your cock, unless you're totally cool with putting your sexuality in harms way. Some risks just aren't worth taking.

09/23/08 Bait Bus Gloryhole

Black Cock Causes Bodily Damage

Not quite a prolapse but it might as well be. Her asshole looks a slice of damaged grapefruit and her vagina... hmmm... I'm gonna go with a cut of ahi tuna - burnt on the edges, raw in the center. Updating this site always makes me hungry.

09/20/08 Asians

Youre Doing It Wrong

Wrong hole? No not quite. More like wrong fucking direction. His cock nearly pierces through the piece of skin seperating her ass from her pussy. Remember the 'chestburster' scene from Alien? Just watch...

09/15/08 Bizarre

Long Like The Neck Of An Ostrich

I have dreams of my penis being that big. I see myself wearing loose fitted short shorts with my wang hanging out the side as I rollerblade by the beach. Jealous men shield their girlfriends eyes as my cock sways back and forth in the wind.

09/08/08 Big Dicks

Two Feet Of Pain

He's got me beat by like one inch. Okay maybe more like 23 inches. I couldn't even satisfy a midget. But where I lack in size, I make up for with class and charm.

09/04/08 Big Dicks

Oh Noes The Condom Broke!

I found this on some website that pays $2,000 for homemade porno. I'm kinda bummed... they rejected all 3 of my personal sextapes, citing that my 2 inch penis wouldn't appeal to general audiences. Ouch!

Psycho Orgasm

A self induced orgasm leaves her flopping around like a fish out of water. Reminds me of myself when I lost my virginity, except I actually cried a litte. Tears of joy.

08/23/08 Orgasms

But Youre My Brother Lolz

Vintage porno with family undertones makes me laugh. It also heightens my urge to be transported back to the 70's so that I can fuck the shit out of hippies along side mothers with beehive hairdos.

08/21/08 Vintage

Goth Orgy II

This is kinda a repost. There was a lot of requests for the full version of this video, so here it is.

08/19/08 Amateur

Newbie Ruins A Porno Shoot

This guy genuinely thought that eating your own semen was socially acceptable. In France, yeah maybe. But in the rest of the world, no, people tend to frown upon the act of ingesting your own cum. Sorry!

Bum Love

How generous of you to share your AIDS with me.

08/04/08

Bitch You Got A Yeast Infection

This is probably why you don't see that many male performers bragging about their profession... cause they all got warts on their dicks and have to eat out girls like this! Yum yums.

08/04/08 Fail

A Good Reason Not To Do Anal

I know I know, all I ever do is boast about the greatness of anal sex. But we must not disregard a major downside to packing fudge - and that would be the fact that getting shit all over your cock is inevitable.

WTF Happened To Chasey Lain?

She's coked out and on the rag. If that isn't an invitation for AIDS I don't know what is. Luckily sye got kicked off the set before anyone had a chance to stick their dick in festering pussy hole.

Fucking In An Internet Cafe

All I wanna know is how the fuck did he do that without the employee noticing? Some sort of pussy pounding stealth mode... I gotta learn that so I can fuck my hookers without waking up mom and dad.

07/29/08 Public
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