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Zombie Tits

I suppose titty fucking is out of the question?

765,602 views 02/10/09

Officer Jackoff

He thinks his turn is next.

764,107 views 02/07/09

Ouch! My Cock!

Looks like women aren't the only ones to suffer injuries on the sets of porno shoots. Professional taco stuffers have a few occupational hazards of their own. I suppose that as long rectal prolapses aren't on that list, being a stunt cock is still my dream job.

1,765,290 views 02/04/09 Kink.com Fail

Meatiest Pussy Of All Time

Mmmm medium rare - spledid, my favorite. Just pass me the salt & pepper and I'll be good to go. See more HERE.

1,483,154 views 02/01/09 Beef Curtains

Teacher & Student Sextape

All participant are of legal age. Read the full article HERE. I like how the 35 year old teacher squirms like a virgin whenever he sticks his teenage pecker inside her - check both he beginning and the end.

3,896,879 views 01/31/09 Amateur

I Lost My Cellphone In Your Vagina

I have this strong feeling that she ended up passing out with that phone still lost within her vaginal abyss. Yes I can see the headlines now: "Promiscuous college girl awakens in a drunken stupor to the sound of a ringtone echoing throughout the canals of her cunt. Surgical removal was necessary."

1,364,135 views 01/22/09 Insertions

Pencil Dick

Never thought I'd be so jealous of a cock shaped like a Slim Jim... and a chocolate covered one at that. Always buckle up and wear a rubber when traveling down the hershey highway, head on collisions can be messy.

2,454,256 views 01/20/09 Big Dicks

Your Cock Will Never Be That Big

Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.

2,706,893 views 01/16/09 Amateur

Girl Gets Publicly Jizzed On

You always gotta be wary of those naked, middle aged men who like to prance about in red face paint. Snapping a few myspace photos with the aforementioned homosexual may seem tempting, but it's important you understand the risks involved. Watch and learn.

1,790,989 views 01/15/09 Public

Vaginal Orgasm Via Anal Sex

Guadalupe no, not on the sheets. Those are fucking Egyptian cotton. Now his whole bedroom's gonna stink like chicken of the sea for the next month and half. But maybe you can redeem yourself by clawing at his testicles a little more?

2,770,879 views 01/14/09 Orgasms

Reverse Anal

Now this is a most excellent way to tear that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of the vagina from the poop shoot. Puncture that and your lady friend will be the first woman on earth to space dock herself. Wee! Sounds like eFukt material to me. Any volutneers? Click HERE to see a similar video.

1,755,002 views 01/09/09 Bizarre

Gotcha By The Tail

Just to clarify, that's a woman... and she doesn't actually have a tail. That's just a large piece of vaginal beef curtain, USDA prime.

810,221 views 01/08/09

Make Momma Proud

I'm pretty sure just about everyone gets caught having sex by their parents at some point in life. Well maybe not if you're an orphan, but it definitely happened to me. I was playing Tetris, level 34, as the neighborhood hoe performed fellatio on my Ultra Magnus. I put in a special request to mother for some Nachos Bell Grande, assuming I'd be finished prior to delivery. Needless to say my calculations were a bit off.

2,412,697 views 01/05/09 Busted!

Emo Fatty

I'd fuck the depression out of her.

1,164,047 views 01/03/09

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

1,496,309 views 12/28/08 Bizarre

Wait She Just Sucked Your Dick...

Ever meet a girl who liked to make out directly after sucking your dick and/or swallowing your load? Kinda faggoty right? Here's how to combat this atrocious trend: Toss your girls salad and get some flavor going. Then grab on to your lady's face and forcefully make out with her. Don't let her squirm away. It's imperative that she has a taste of her own medicine.

1,411,643 views 12/21/08 Mildly Retarded

Stuff You Shouldn't Put In Your Ass

Well after seeing last weeks video, I think "glass jars" should top the list of "stuff not to shove up your ass" but honestly there isn't much creativty in that. Now a lemon juicer on the other hand... thats got originality written all over it.

1,305,875 views 12/15/08 Insertions

He's Not Exactly Pornstar Material

I love how he franctically jacks off even after he's already blown his load, maybe hoping to milk out one last squirt of man-goo and actually land it on her face? No such luck for this fatty arbuckle. I'll tell you though, I'm definitely diggin his torn up thong.

2,118,349 views 12/13/08 LULZ

BOOM! Your Ass Is Busted!

What happens when you put a huge cock and a tiny asshole together and shake it up a whole bunch? Prolapsicus maximus, that's what. I never finished med school but it's my professional suggestion that she pick up a pack of band-aids on the way home.

2,598,556 views 12/12/08 Fail

Homeless Hooker

I found this in an article about homeless women who work out of portable toilets as prostitutes. Can you imagine actually paying this beast to suck your dick in that thing? The heavy smell of shit/hiv would be enough to cause me respiratory failure.

721,866 views 12/11/08
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