Secret Admirer

Secret Admirer

Uploaded 07/09/09
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He Only Has One Rule

Dude looks like he walked into a tattoo parlor and said "yes". Luckily he's hung like a brontosaurus to round out these constructive life decisions. Not sure I was expecting that twist at the end though. Kinda reinforcing the whole don't judge a book by it's cover thing, aren't we?

10/06/22 LULZ

The Final Boss of Cuckolding

Of all the ways to absolutely starch what's left of your testosterone, scarfing down Milli Vanilli's splash damage was the last fucking thing I had my bingus card. Watching a stranger crack your s/o's purple turkey just doesn't make sense to me. Then again, anytime someone makes middle aged women squeal like a 2 for 1 HomeGoods sale, eyebrows are raised.

10/28/24 Cuckold

Unacceptable Devices XIV

Everybody has a gift. For some, it's convincing solid 4's to double up on their bald headed field mice while simultaneously solving a sudoku. For others, it's knitting. But that last girl? Whoever is writing the next Final Destination movie better start taking some fucking notes.

Buy 1 Get 1 Free

It's pretty unbelievable what kind of deals still exist if you're willing to put in the work and find them. No need to negotiate on price either. Just lay down your $27USD and let the all you can eat vaginitis begin.

"it was an honest mistake"

ah, the old "my friend's house set on fire, let's film there" trick. A classic move, but one that's gonna need more practice if it's gonna give Limpin Larry enough motivation to erect the other half of his penis. #cialis pancho. Look into it.

05/07/26 Property Sex LULZ

Security Catches Streamer Masturbating

A laptop dancing internet stripper takes her fapping to the streets. Only problem is a viewer tipped off building security and her guerrilla sexual tactics are gonna get cut short.

04/04/16 MyFreeCams Busted!

100-Man Gangbang Doesn't End well

Nevermind the fact that she talks like a slightly upgraded version of Stan's sister. What I really want to know is where this current trend of bodily fluids being used as a sole protein source started from. And I want to know now.

Crushed Dreams Of Porn Stardom

These guys thinking they have what it takes to be porn stars makes as much sense as the story line for "Sharknado".

07/18/13 FuckTeamFive LULZ

Amatuer Sex Tape FAILS [2018]

Only 1 thing compliments the relaxed feel of a holiday weekend - And that's getting more rash on your crotch from a guy you salad-tossed than the toilet in a Portuguese farmhouse. And to those inbreds in the last clip: End the bloodline here. This never needs to happen again.

09/01/18 Amateur

Awkward Moments In Porn 1

Like when you can't think of a description, cuz you realize everything you post is awkward... fuck.

The Future of Fucking

One country's quest for sexual satisfaction reaches it's peak, courtesy of a build-a-bear workshop for egg-drop rice boxes. It's hard to turn a blind eye to this actually being possible in 2020, but make sure this technology never makes it's way to Florida and you got yourself an investor.

10/23/20 Asians
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