For centuries many will wonder - how did he do it? How did one man fit an entire basketball into his anus? Vigorous week-long training sessions? Nah. Optical illusion? Nope. Homosexual superpowers that transform one's rectum into a 4th dimension gateway? I suspect so.
Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.
Now this is a most excellent way to tear that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of the vagina from the poop shoot. Puncture that and your lady friend will be the first woman on earth to space dock herself. Wee! Sounds like eFukt material to me. Any volutneers? Click HERE to see a similar video.
That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.
I love how he franctically jacks off even after he's already blown his load, maybe hoping to milk out one last squirt of man-goo and actually land it on her face? No such luck for this fatty arbuckle. I'll tell you though, I'm definitely diggin his torn up thong.
Honestly, less than 1% of the shit I post actually makes me LOL. Anal prolapses and horse porn bloopers just don't seem to do it for me anymore. But man... the second I heard this guy blow ass in the opening sequence I LOL'd so hard my eyes started watering like an emo listening to Dashboard Confessional.
The first thing that came to mind was the chest burster scene from Alien. The second thing that came to mind was the giant worm-like monsters from Tremors. You see where I'm going with this? Put those two together and you have what this woman's asshole looks like. Swear to fuck I saw some teeth.
This dude screams as if his hand just got hacked off Blood Diamond style. And sorry if this is a repost, I'm short on time. I've got a date with an 19 year old diabetic in 45 minutes. We're gonna watch Jumanji and play truth or dare at my moms house. Jealous?
This is from the 1976 classic Water Power. It's a lot like Taxi Driver, except this Travis Bickle has a little fetish for forcing woman into doing enemas at gun point. The film is actually based on real crimes committed by an Illinois man dubbed the "Enema Bandit". Anyway he's dead now, so R.I.P you scat-loving motherfucker.
Fuck, that's a hell of a way to mop a floor. It's inspiring really. So how exactly would one apply this kind of creativity to cleaning up their bathroom? I've got shit stains on my toilet dating back from 1997 and the only way I'm gonna get off my ass and do something about it is if it involves a naked woman.
This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.
Here's yet another video of a woman suffering from bodily damage after granting a large cock permission to penetrate her brown eye. I want to know where those 2 giant raisins dangling from her asshole came from?
This seems to be one of the rare instances where a woman can orgasm with little or no physical stimulation of the genitals. In this particular case, it looks like the deepthroating and/or gagging is what's triggering her orgasm.
I love how this is a real procedure. They do it before admitting woman into correction facilities. Imagine having that job, getting paid to raid pussies for contraband. Imagine all the treasures you could find.
