wow, I haven't seen this kind of perplexity since the days of taking my Canadian nickles on tour of the Craigslists escort section. Think you seen confusion? Try paying a "SBBWGFE-OUTCALL" in a foreign currency, then you can talk to me. MORE PARTS: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-]
Sonuva bitch... dude's packing the kind of penis that can only be described as "an emergency every time I have to take a piss". Time to call up AARP and find out what size wheelbarrow they're willing to cover for this kind of disability. Something in a dual-wheel polycarbon should do it.
Watching [girls like this] bait the socially inept into a monthly subscription reminds me of a black widow documentary I once accidentally watched for 2 hours. All that's missing is David Attenboroughs voice and an invigorating supply of Cialis.
FORNICATION: It's pretty basic stuff. But for Goober McAutismo over here it might as well be mission impossible. What you're about to see may quite possibly be the worst excuse for sexual entertainment that's ever made it online... and that's coming from someone who sat through all 74 minutes of Edward Penishands. Twice.
One country's quest for sexual satisfaction reaches it's peak, courtesy of a build-a-bear workshop for egg-drop rice boxes. It's hard to turn a blind eye to this actually being possible in 2020, but make sure this technology never makes it's way to Florida and you got yourself an investor.
One of these days I'm going to edit some OC home videos into this series. A spirited evening behind a Tim Horton's dumpster specifically comes to mind. She had the kind of lips that swung around like a basset hound's ears during a tropical storm. I never looked at recycling the same again. MORE: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-]
This is a pretty amazing scene right up until the point when it becomes one of the best cum shot fails of all time. Imagine the glorious feeling of having your penis sucked -- now imagine that feeling being destroyed right when it counts.
Meet Allen. At almost 50 years old, he's never had sex and is on the verge of losing all hope. Now it's up to a $400 goth hooker with a heart of gold to help him lose his virginity once and for all... or will he fuck it all up?
This guy's dream came true and the bang bus picked him up. First, he's gonna make out with a professional cock sucker. Then after a whopping 10 seconds inside a vagina, he's totally gonna cum all over himself.
Of all the ways to "tELL mE uR fRoM nEw jErSeY wiThOuT tELLinG mE uR fRoM nEw jErsEy" this actually ranks #2 on the list. Our duo is still 1 deep fried oreo enema away from the gold medal. Shoot for the stars.
