i aM vErY iNteLLiGeNt

Tori Spelling's Guatemalan tit job, the hole in a Walmart bathroom stall and discounted Hamburger Helper on Craigslist: Three things I'd touch before signing up for story time from Rebel "my brain is bigger than my butthole" Lynn ever fucking again.

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Flat-chested girls everywhere rejoice because there's worse things in life than having no tits. You could have weird tits and add implants, leaving you with gigantic weird sideshow tits. And back problems.

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Buried in snippets among hours of gang bang porn is a story. The story of a shy 18 year old curiously browsing a porn store, then slowly mutating over a period of few short weeks. Amazing.

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In Russia, a fake farm equipped with disco lights and some thot lip syncing catchy dance music while fucking for 20 minutes is quality porn. I'm not totally convinced, but the song does have a 'pavlov's dog' effect on my boner now.

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These guys thinking they have what it takes to be porn stars makes as much sense as the story line for "Sharknado".

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Real? Deceptive editing? The Goku of premature ejaculation? I don't have the answer this time. But just imagine if he went even further with this talent. Plan-B's entire industry would need emergency funding.

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12/28/23 Favorites

Now You're Crippled

First-timer foolishly assumes her debut appearance is going to be a walk in the park. Emphases on the word walk, because it looks like all her future tours of Italy at Olive Garden are going to be wheelchair accessible from this point forward. What in the fuck...

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What weighs 95 pounds, likes the look of cock, and gets messy at the Arizona glory hole? Yeah, that chick. Personally she annoys me to death, but some of you fukr's can't get enough.

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