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I Wanna Be A Pornstar

A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.

10/04/08 Modifications

Black Cock Causes Bodily Damage

Not quite a prolapse but it might as well be. Her asshole looks a slice of damaged grapefruit and her vagina... hmmm... I'm gonna go with a cut of ahi tuna - burnt on the edges, raw in the center. Updating this site always makes me hungry.

09/20/08 Asians

Youre Doing It Wrong

Wrong hole? No not quite. More like wrong fucking direction. His cock nearly pierces through the piece of skin seperating her ass from her pussy. Remember the 'chestburster' scene from Alien? Just watch...

09/15/08 Bizarre

Gangbanged On Reality TV

This is fake. This isn't a real gameshow and she isn't in real pain. 3 inch penises make girls laugh, not cry. Trust me, I know.

09/06/08 Asians

Make Sure My Pussy Works

She hits up the doctor cause she's having difficulty getting pregnant. I'm no gynecologist but if shaved that bush her husband would probably have an easier time finding the right hole.

09/05/08 Documentary

She Cums Nine Times

The dude sounds Popeye the Sailorman and his old lady squirts cum like a water fountain. They were born for eFukt. Thanks goes to Rod for the video.

08/28/08 Orgasms

Pornstar Gets A New Vagina

Her vagina lips looked like they belonged in an Arbys roast beef sandwhich. This was bad for her career so she set out on a perilous journey to unbeef her pussy and close the gape once and for all.

08/17/08 Beef Curtains

Newbie Ruins A Porno Shoot

This guy genuinely thought that eating your own semen was socially acceptable. In France, yeah maybe. But in the rest of the world, no, people tend to frown upon the act of ingesting your own cum. Sorry!

A Good Reason Not To Do Anal

I know I know, all I ever do is boast about the greatness of anal sex. But we must not disregard a major downside to packing fudge - and that would be the fact that getting shit all over your cock is inevitable.

Fucking In An Internet Cafe

All I wanna know is how the fuck did he do that without the employee noticing? Some sort of pussy pounding stealth mode... I gotta learn that so I can fuck my hookers without waking up mom and dad.

07/29/08 Public

The Biggest Vagina In porn

That green football in her pussy has an extremely negative effect on the appearance of her asshole. It vaguely resembles the Star Trek symbol. I'm afraid that is a salad I simply cannot toss.

07/26/08 Insertions

He Can Make A Girl Cum

In the past few months the "how to make a girl cum" video has received over a million views. One of those viewers tested out the technique on his girlfriend and sent us footage of the results. Pretty cool!

07/16/08 Amateur

Bosnian Nympho Fucks In A Bar

I should probably visit Bosnia. If girls will drop their panties for dirty old scumbags like that over there, I might still have a shot at losing my virginity afterall.

07/11/08 Public

How To Become A Pornstar

Careful! Rough sex is now the standard in the adult industry. A lengthy career in porn will cost you a prolapsed rectum, torn vagina and a shitload of STD's. I'd stick to becoming a doctor if I was you.

06/06/08 Parody

Unwanted Threesome

When this black guy was propositioned to fuck another mans wife, I don't think he knew that the husband himself planned on joining in. Pay close attention to the black dudes expression at the 30 second mark. He don't look too comfortable!

05/29/08 LULZ

Not In My Pooper

Initially she makes it pretty clear that she doesn't want anything in her ass. But our hero Johnny Cock Rocket uses the powers of persuasion and before you know it he's making sweet love to her festering cornhole. Not exactly fap worthy but if you're like me you'll fap anyway.

05/27/08 Amateur

He Cums In 5 Seconds Flat

His girlfriend doesn't sound too happy about his poor performance between her legs. They have anesthetic creams that work wonders for premature ejaculation. I'd say buy some.

05/20/08 Premature

Hotdog Down A Hallway

There's enough room in there for my penis, your penis and 3 black men's penises. Definitely not my favorite combination but hey, it fits.

05/08/08 Insertions

How To Eat Pussy

Fuck, I remember downloading this video off of Napster back in 1999. It taught me the pussy eating skills that I have today and is directly responsible for dozens of sexually satisfied BBW's worldwide.

05/06/08 Orgasms

Pornstar Is Fed Up

They should use super soakers to deliver the cumshots instead. You could hit a woman right between the eyes from a good 15 feet away.

05/05/08 Fail
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