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Oink Oink Suck My Dick

For a minute there, I was actually beginning to lose faith in Japan's ability to consistently create the most fucked up, ridiculous adult films known to man. Then I was introduced to the latest and greatest - 'anamorphic animal porn'. Pure win.

3,526,816 views 03/30/09 Asians

Drive Thru Facial

LOL @ the cashiers reaction. Bitch you be on eFukt and shit.

846,585 views 03/24/09

A Vagina Within A Vagina

Double decker taco. Kinda looks like the mouth of the xenomorph from the Alien series. A wee bit nasty but I'd still let her sit on my face.

1,638,439 views 03/24/09 Beef Curtains

Prisoners Of Whore

The storylines on these Japanese pornos are really hard to follow. I vote less plot and more eels.

1,575,736 views 03/10/09 Asians

Cleanup On Orifice Number 1

This is a fetish known as 'cuckold cleanup'. Usually it involves a closet homosexual who gets off on pimpin his wife out to random strangers. Often the husband will sit in the corner and actually videotape as his significant other gets pounded by foreign cock. Once the creampie has been injected, it's like 'all you can eat' night at Red Lobster. Yum yum eat em up.

1,605,246 views 02/21/09 Cuckold

Let Yo Dick Swang

I wonder how often he accidentally breaks a girls nose doing all that high speed cock slapping? or does that only happen when the bitch stiffs him on his much deserved dollar tip?

1,654,110 views 02/11/09 Strippers

Ouch! My Cock!

Looks like women aren't the only ones to suffer injuries on the sets of porno shoots. Professional taco stuffers have a few occupational hazards of their own. I suppose that as long rectal prolapses aren't on that list, being a stunt cock is still my dream job.

1,767,513 views 02/04/09 Kink.com Fail

1 Guy, 1 Basketball

For centuries many will wonder - how did he do it? How did one man fit an entire basketball into his anus? Vigorous week-long training sessions? Nah. Optical illusion? Nope. Homosexual superpowers that transform one's rectum into a 4th dimension gateway? I suspect so.

1,775,600 views 01/26/09 Insertions

I Lost My Cellphone In Your Vagina

I have this strong feeling that she ended up passing out with that phone still lost within her vaginal abyss. Yes I can see the headlines now: "Promiscuous college girl awakens in a drunken stupor to the sound of a ringtone echoing throughout the canals of her cunt. Surgical removal was necessary."

1,367,326 views 01/22/09 Insertions

Your Cock Will Never Be That Big

Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.

2,711,036 views 01/16/09 Amateur

Vaginal Orgasm Via Anal Sex

Guadalupe no, not on the sheets. Those are fucking Egyptian cotton. Now his whole bedroom's gonna stink like chicken of the sea for the next month and half. But maybe you can redeem yourself by clawing at his testicles a little more?

2,773,927 views 01/14/09 Orgasms

Reverse Anal

Now this is a most excellent way to tear that thin piece of skin that separates the inside of the vagina from the poop shoot. Puncture that and your lady friend will be the first woman on earth to space dock herself. Wee! Sounds like eFukt material to me. Any volutneers? Click HERE to see a similar video.

1,757,728 views 01/09/09 Bizarre

Hurray! I lost My Virginity!

Contain yourself Ralphie, you are now a man.

2,287,546 views 01/09/09 Virgins

Make Momma Proud

I'm pretty sure just about everyone gets caught having sex by their parents at some point in life. Well maybe not if you're an orphan, but it definitely happened to me. I was playing Tetris, level 34, as the neighborhood hoe performed fellatio on my Ultra Magnus. I put in a special request to mother for some Nachos Bell Grande, assuming I'd be finished prior to delivery. Needless to say my calculations were a bit off.

2,416,510 views 01/05/09 Busted!

Half Woman Half Donkey

Not even for 10k would I stick my dick between those chompers. Mr. Ed would mistake my willy for a carrot and I'd get circumcised all over again.

813,942 views 01/03/09

Piglet

Ya know that hot 18 year old blonde you had cybersex with last week? This is what she really looks like.

438,011 views 01/03/09

Oops, My Pussy Farted

It's only blooper if it involves a prolapse or someone unwantedly getting poo on their wang. That's the eFukt standard, you all know that. But for this, I just had to make an exception.

1,497,633 views 12/29/08 Kink.com Fail

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

1,498,662 views 12/28/08 Bizarre

Pornstar Nearly Impales Herself

Mullet girl doesn't seem to realize that a dildo this large is likely to cause internal bleeding. Had it actually penetrated her vagina - she'd go down in medical history as the first gynecology patient to have no need for a speculum.

2,150,093 views 12/17/08 Insertions

Mr. Holland's Opus

Never saw the movie but the title is the very first thing that comes to mind everytime I see a gaping vagina. Not sure why.

395,690 views 12/15/08
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