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The Ratchet Compilation [2]

Another edition featuring triflin' ass hoes, hood rats of all kinds and a singing crack head with erectile problems. They call him Uncle Jim and he can do any unskilled miscellaneous task for the low-low.

07/20/14 LULZ

I Haz a Breakdown

Scene's over and it's time to go home... but first this starlet has a complete mental unraveling. Her tears and plight do little more than generate awkward lulz and kill the mood for the next girl.

04/11/14 Breakdowns

LOL: Dude Kills Fly During Rough Anal

I recognize the lisp. It's the same jolly fucker from 'HARDER! Or I Cant Cum' with the unhealthy obsession for rimjobs. Glad to see he's still living life to the fullest - I.E. using your penis to bait, trap and murder insects up some hot chick's asshole.

11/02/11 Fail

Exhibitionist Fail

You see all these videos of dudes intentionally getting caught beating off by maids. Jolly good fun. Then you have this sad motherfucker... dressed up like Little Bo Peep and chowing down on a 15 inch rubber cock. Way to kill the trend. Thanks guy.

09/16/10 Exhibition

The Daughter Of The Year

Pornstar demonstrates her multitasking proskillz by calling up mommy and holding a conversation as she chows down on a can of man-ass. Divided attention really ain't all that bad.

07/09/10 LULZ

How To Get A Girls Digits

A new era in pick-up artistry is born. This is called the "gimme your number or I will fucking kill you" approach. Fine tuned by the colorful minorities of France.

05/30/10 Fights

The Sherminator

Props to the ginger on his pipe laying skills. Honestly haven't heard a woman scream that loud since the time I was caught defecating in front of Blockbuster in protest to late fees accumulated on my rental of The Neverending Story 3 (director's cut). Good times.

11/20/09 Orgasms

He'll Never Do Porn Again

Failure to achieve erection OR premature ejaculation. Those are the top 2 problems most men face when trying to perform on camera. It's usually one or the other... but in this chumps case - 2 birds are killed with 1 very tiny stone.

11/17/09 Premature

Not Your Typical Pornstar

He's got a viking haircut, a 7.5 inch cock and the pussy-eating skills of a Golden Retriever. The porn industry will never be the same.

06/08/09 Mildly Retarded

Grandma Hasn't Fucked In 15 Years

After a cockless decade of lonely nights, Granny is back in action. She's a wee bit senile (The Exorcist comes to mind), but lucky for Billy her pole-riding skills haven't withered quite as badly as the rest of her. She can actually recite your name in a dozen different frequencies as she works the cock. Pretty impressive for a senior citizen.

04/09/09 Mildly Retarded

Prehistoric Fap Master

I'm nearly certain he's playing Team Fortress Classic. Glad to know I'm not the only one who gets a fat boner from spawn killing.

03/30/09

Boob Job Overkill

Wanna see something cool? Give me a needle.

11/25/08

Death By Vaginal Cockroach

This is from a Russian film called Philosophy Of A Knife. It's about the Japanese Unit 731... the one that pretty much spent a decade coming up with ridiculous ways to kill people. It's basically just 4 hours of torture. Fun fun fun. While we're on the subject, I'm in preproduction on a post-apocalyptic thriller about punk rock necrophiliacs. Really could use some female talent. Hit me up!

11/19/08 Bizarre

Shes Gonna Get Vagina Cancer

Guadalupe may be LOL'ing now but that'll quickly change when she finds out her pink taco has emphysema. Tobacco kills!

09/03/08 LULZ

How To Eat Pussy

Fuck, I remember downloading this video off of Napster back in 1999. It taught me the pussy eating skills that I have today and is directly responsible for dozens of sexually satisfied BBW's worldwide.

05/06/08 Orgasms

STFU AND FUCK

Hearing this bitch complain is quite the erection killer.

02/06/08 Amateur

Southern Slut Loves Butt Sex

And her husband definitely loves giving it to her. Unfortunately the dialogue is a total boner killer.

10/29/07 Amateur
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