Scene's over and it's time to go home... but first this starlet has a complete mental unraveling. Her tears and plight do little more than generate awkward lulz and kill the mood for the next girl.
Today we go on a spirited journey to a time forgotten; Behind the scenes of your average 2004 porn shoot. Special shoutout to Julian for being a role model during my college years. That man's lust for turning fallopian tubes into tier-3 tuna casserole should have earned the Martha Stewart seal of approval.
Her claim to fame is deplorable... but when the clothes come off her barbarian hips look like they can survive giving birth to Danny Devito and it's fuckin' beautiful. 5/5 Yelp stars, would eat again.
We're about to document the dream of a girl that's had more sexual partners than Tom Brady's 2022 passing yards, or create the gentleman's guide to recreational pharmaceutical use. Either way: NO REFUNDS.
Somewhere in between the 493,000 Slavic back alley ganbang videos on the Internet, exists an even more offensive brand of content. Well let me tell you something chumps; Unless you're that fucking jetski level in Battletoads, I am disoriented by no man/frog. You, tho...
Something tells me this trailer park graduate has more hyphens in her real name than California's marriage certificate database, but they just call her Alice. Her issue? PTSD inducing sex acts turn her underwear into a fish tank and there's nothing she can do to stop it.
I'll leave you with some wisdom my acquaintance at Panda Express bestowed upon me: Never underestimate a woman's will to feed. She may have the phenotype of a New Jersey soccer mom... but when the adrenaline hits, watch the fuck out.
Today we witness the consequences of a pair of unprepared siblings literally biting off more than they can chew. Let's just say, getting caught in the crossfire of 4 dozen men that consider cabbage and beer a major food group, wasn't the one-way ticket to fame they originally thought it was haha.
What's mine is yours. And what's yours makes her think walking away from that 4-year degree in Anthropological Gender Studies of Amazonian Tree Frogs to do this instead was a bad idea.
Every good film deserves 4 sequels... and many moons ago I stumbled upon a select few degenerates that give less fucks about 'dignity' and 'clean STD tests' than the roster of the 1970 Lakers. Venturing into dead meme territory, but the hole-to-hole acrobatics are worth a followup.
Not old enough to leave Food Lion with a 6-pack of Bud Light, but she's already carrying a body count that would make a frat house blush? You'd think by the semi-centennial cock that went 1v1 with DM-TrainTrackFace she would've learned to fertilize the backyard. But... nope.
To truly appreciate this one you have to understand it's completely legit. This isn't just any old deviant pretending to get crotch lice at the carnival. And it may very well be the first documented swinger cuckolding. In other words: The only way Pavol is getting pussy juice on his face today is if he starts crying.
