One in the pink, another in the stink. That was the plan up until Gilligian and his clumsy noodle fucked it all up. You see, his cock fell off course and wandered south, resulting in an unexpected double vadge penetration - a sex move that didn't even exist at the time. Why are the most important discoveries in life always accidental?
This is Tory Lane. She's already been on eFukt twice before pulling the exact same shit... but this time her bitch-fit is a bit unwarranted. Some fake cum (apparently made from sugar) accidentally ends up in her hair and she nearly breaks into tears over it.
A fist fight breaks out just before a mass interracial orgy was set to take place. Dolemite subdues one of the offenders by infiltrating his underpants and obtaining a vice-like grip on the dudes cornhole. Technique courtesy of San Quentin state prison.
When you weigh as much as the couch you're nesting on... performing fellatio is practically considered "exercise". Naturally she's not a fan. What's special though is her mock enthusiasm right at the end. You can literally see calories being burned as she imitates the standard pornstar approach to sucking dick. It's mesmerizing.
Dude sobs like a little bitch after his sexual advances get shot down by a midol-deficient camwhore. Cue theme song from 7th Heaven. No wait, scratch that. I got a much better song in mind. Watch and see.
As if getting reamed up the ass by a 300 pound tranny isn't bad enough, this gangster fruit gets bonked in the head by random shit falling out the sky. The shrapnel of gay love.
I don't know what's funnier: the fact that a professional cocksmith accidentally blew his load in the middle of a lap dance or the chunky bitch's facial expression after getting blasted with man sauce. Both are most definitely Kodak moments.
Some basic questioning by the cameraman renders this pornstar completely brain dead. So bad she cant even remember how to perform her signature move - a rimjob.
Who the fuck refers to stripping butt naked in Grand Central Station as a 'declaration of indviduality'? The same person that dubs themselves a multimedia conceptual performance artist. I believe that's just fancy talk for stupid crackwhore.
I cant even imagine how many jackoff sessions came to a halt after this saggy-assed dinosaur stepped in front of the camera. How the fuck are you supposed to beat off when 50% of the screen is devoted to the puckering balloon knot of a gay porn veteran? Honestly...
Ashley Blue gets tossed to the ground after flaunting her diseased twat in the wrong girl's face. I'm afraid that canned tuna / Wisconsin aged cheddar aroma just ain't for everyone.
She's in the middle of an all-girl bukkake shoot when her cornhole opens up and gives birth to a raisinette. Not only does this dirty slut pick it up and attempt to hide it, but she then continues to rub her snatch with the same fuckin hand. NICE 1 LADY!
Congratulations on managing to fit your entire fist up your wife's tuna casserole. It's quite the lifetime achievement. Now if only you would quiet the fuck down and learn to expand your vocabulary some!
First he bulldozes her ass till his cock turns brown. Then he moves up an orifice and gives her twat some chocolate-coated TLC... which is pretty much guaranteed to result in a wicked case of vaginitis but lets not spoil the fun. All things come to an end after he asks the most amazing question ever uttered in a pornographic film - "who wants lasagna?"
Ginger Spice 2.0 straight up forgot to wipe her ass. She's got a shit-soaked thong that's leaking out malt balls left and right. What's awesome is the dumb motherfucker that decided to use his own finger to inspect the mysterious brown substance. Hepatitis C baby.
No better way to celebrate your last day of singledom by sticking 2 Vienna sausages up the vadge of a $12 whore. They made a push for 3 but the sea donkey insisted her cunt was already at max capacity. Uh huh.
