The title is slightly inaccurate, I just felt like making a reference to that shitty Nick Cage movie. The reality of the situation is that this willy wonka can't even last 5 seconds. Getting to the 1 minute mark would be like an olympic achievement.
I don't really give a fuck what anyone else has to say... domestic violence is always a solution. I'd pimp slap that bitch all the way back into the 80's, a time when her David Bowie hairdo was actually fashionable.
Neat trick but I'm afraid I lack the penis for the job. No worries though, that's where the GHB comes into play. It's all about equal opportunity fellas.
I wonder what that must feel like... to defend yourself from a physical assault as you're in the middle of ejaculating. I'd sue the bitch - 50k in punitive damages for an orgasm ruined. No one fucks up my fap session and gets away with it for free.
Poor fella. First his cornhole and now his jimmy jammy. Only one sexual organ left to destroy - el huevos. See ya in another 3 months buddy. Okay now all of you go join the eFukt forum. The dude in these videos posts on there. For realz.
After a cockless decade of lonely nights, Granny is back in action. She's a wee bit senile (The Exorcist comes to mind), but lucky for Billy her pole-riding skills haven't withered quite as badly as the rest of her. She can actually recite your name in a dozen different frequencies as she works the cock. Pretty impressive for a senior citizen.
I'll give you a hint - it's a vegetable that shares it's name with an incredibly shitty nu metal band whose fans always wear black nail polish and amazingly have smaller penises than myself (sub 3.75 inches). This is too easy.
Whenever she makes the unfortunate decision to reproduce, I bet you the doctors in the delivery room will just have her stand up and let gravity take it's course. The little fucker will fall right out.
