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Pornstar Loses Her Shit

Ariana Jollee gets a tad bit emo on the set of Neo Pornographia 2 after receiving a bitchslap 'one million times harder' that what she was expecting. This quote sums it up pretty well: "this is sex, this isnt fucking beating people". I think she's on to something here.

07/05/11 Fail

Dont Fuck With Gianna

Raided grandpa's porno war-chest last night, nabbed a copy of Manhandled 3. Halfway in there's an interesting scene where Steve Homles randomly baits Gianna Michaels into slapping him. Well, she delivers... and it aint no fucking love tap. Lets just say Mr. Homles is less than appreciative of Gianna's sense of humor.

04/29/11 EvilAngel Fights

Damaged Goods

Director gets annoyed after discovering the star of his young/innocent themed porno flick is actually a post-crackwhorian guttertramp with a horrendous tattoo right where it counts. That's like casting Steven Segal in a drama about terminally ill lesbians. Some things you just cant pull off, no matter how big your ponytail is.

Gay Thugs Ruin Porno Shoot

A fist fight breaks out just before a mass interracial orgy was set to take place. Dolemite subdues one of the offenders by infiltrating his underpants and obtaining a vice-like grip on the dudes cornhole. Technique courtesy of San Quentin state prison.

07/01/10 Fights

Who Wants Lasagna

First he bulldozes her ass till his cock turns brown. Then he moves up an orifice and gives her twat some chocolate-coated TLC... which is pretty much guaranteed to result in a wicked case of vaginitis but lets not spoil the fun. All things come to an end after he asks the most amazing question ever uttered in a pornographic film - "who wants lasagna?"

03/21/10 LULZ

Porno Accidente

Guess what goes wrong.

02/01/10 Fail

Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

09/16/09 Groped

Hello, I'm Masturbating To You

Who needs porno when you have... fat black bitches in bathing suits? Pretty much everyone but this guy.

07/30/09 Exhibition

Life Support Porn

I've officially seen it all. Well, almost. Still waiting on that Brian Peppers sextape to surface. Till then, my hunt for fucked up porno treasure goes on.

07/12/09 Mildly Retarded

Prisoners Of Whore

The storylines on these Japanese pornos are really hard to follow. I vote less plot and more eels.

03/10/09 Asians

Ouch! My Cock!

Looks like women aren't the only ones to suffer injuries on the sets of porno shoots. Professional taco stuffers have a few occupational hazards of their own. I suppose that as long rectal prolapses aren't on that list, being a stunt cock is still my dream job.

02/04/09 Kink.com Fail

Mushroom Head

For the love of god, someone please cast this man into a porno. I wanna see what a woman's asshole looks like after being fucked by this thing.

11/30/08

Good Porn Ruined By Shitty Music

It's a porno, not a god damn fitness video. Stop adding in the shitty keyboard-generated dance music, it drains out the sound of the woman crying and gagging on cock, which is an essential part of my fap session.

10/06/08 LULZ

Oh Noes The Condom Broke!

I found this on some website that pays $2,000 for homemade porno. I'm kinda bummed... they rejected all 3 of my personal sextapes, citing that my 2 inch penis wouldn't appeal to general audiences. Ouch!

But Youre My Brother Lolz

Vintage porno with incestual undertones makes me laugh. It also heightens my urge to be transported back to the 70's so that I can fuck the shit out of hippies along side mothers with beehive hairdos.

08/21/08 Vintage

Newbie Ruins A Porno Shoot

This guy genuinely thought that eating your own semen was socially acceptable. In France, yeah maybe. But in the rest of the world, no, people tend to frown upon the act of ingesting your own cum. Sorry!

Sex With A Cannibal

That's right, this chick flies to Africa and fucks a member of a cannibalistic tribe. Fake? Probably, although those AK-47's look relatively real. The amount of effort the Japanese put into their pornos never fails to amaze me.

05/12/08 Asians

Making Porno Is Fun

These silly gooses take a short break from fucking and sucking to have a little lulz on set, because even pornstars need to have lulz every now and then.

04/09/08 Fail
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