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WTF Happened To Chasey Lain?

She's coked out and on the rag. If that isn't an invitation for AIDS I don't know what is. Luckily sye got kicked off the set before anyone had a chance to stick their dick in festering pussy hole.

First Time Anal

This is a repost, except it's twice as long and much better quality. I got a dozen emails from people wanting to see the whole thing, so here it is. Fap away.

07/28/08 Favorites

Ouch Her Pussy Hurts

Big penises can be dangerous. Better be careful or they'll poke your eye out.. and maybe your cervix too.

07/27/08 Fail

She Cant Feel His Small Dick

His snaggled toothed girlfriend can barely feel his cock so she keeps asking for it harder but she doesn't seem to realize that there is only so much you can do with 3 inches..

07/21/08 Amateur

Hooker Refuses To Get Off Her Phone

Easy solution: grab the phone & shove it up her twat. With that hole being occupied, you'll have no choice but to relocate your penis to the nearest available orifice - her anus. I call this "How To Get Anal From A Prostitute Without Paying Extra, by eFukt.com".

07/21/08 Amateur

Caught Cheating By Angry Husband

From what I've read there is a longer version of this floating around somewhere. If any of you have it - hit me up! I have a sneaking suspicion that someone ends up getting their ass kicked.

07/20/08 Busted!

Mean Girls Ridicule Noob

This video really hits close to home. I too was once ridiculed for bustin my sloppy goo nuts prematurely. My ego was scarred and so was my penis (herpes). Watching this brings it all back.

You Suck At Fucking My Wife

This guy propositioned a black man to fuck his wife, hoping to satisfy her desires for a huge cock. The black man gladly agrees but later discovers that fulfilling his role isn't as easy as he had anticipated.

07/04/08 Fail

She Cant Have Sex

If she can't fuck, then he can't fuck and that means his balls are probably sky blue just about now. Kidney stones are a bitch.

06/26/08 LULZ

One Pump Chump

Technically 3 pumps but who's counting. Anyway I strongly reject the stigma surrounding premature ejaculation. What do you stand to gain by lasting longer? The sooner you're done, the sooner you can go to fridge and eat leftovers. That's what I do.

06/14/08 Premature

How To Become A Pornstar

Careful! Rough sex is now the standard in the adult industry. A lengthy career in porn will cost you a prolapsed rectum, torn vagina and a shitload of STD's. I'd stick to becoming a doctor if I was you.

06/06/08 Parody

Extraterrestrial Orgy

I decided to post that last bit of the ET sextape. Elliot is probably fapping to this right now, I know I am. See more alien porn HERE and HERE.

06/04/08 Parody

Unwanted Threesome

When this black guy was propositioned to fuck another mans wife, I don't think he knew that the husband himself planned on joining in. Pay close attention to the black dudes expression at the 30 second mark. He don't look too comfortable!

05/29/08 LULZ

Not In My Pooper

Initially she makes it pretty clear that she doesn't want anything in her ass. But our hero Johnny Cock Rocket uses the powers of persuasion and before you know it he's making sweet love to her festering cornhole. Not exactly fap worthy but if you're like me you'll fap anyway.

05/27/08 Amateur

Brutal Injury While Making Love

I'd say she was about due for a nose job anyhow.

05/22/08 Fail

He Cums In 5 Seconds Flat

His girlfriend doesn't sound too happy about his poor performance between her legs. They have anesthetic creams that work wonders for premature ejaculation. I'd say buy some.

05/20/08 Premature

Kicked While Masturbating

This woman comes up with the genius idea to masturbate under a horse. But the horse isn't cool with that so it kicks her in the back and tells her to GTFO.

05/13/08 Fail

Sex With A Cannibal

That's right, this chick flies to Africa and fucks a member of a cannibalistic tribe. Fake? Probably, although those AK-47's look relatively real. The amount of effort the Japanese put into their pornos never fails to amaze me.

05/12/08 Asians

How To Eat Pussy

Fuck, I remember downloading this video off of Napster back in 1999. It taught me the pussy eating skills that I have today and is directly responsible for dozens of sexually satisfied BBW's worldwide.

05/06/08 Orgasms
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