This video was submitted with no audio track. Luckly I can read lips with precise accuracy, so I created some textual captions to compensate for the lack of dialogue. Pretty sure I nailed it on the head.
Chester's awfully eager to do some butt fuckin but fears his wanky might come out lookin like a Snickers bar [bitesize of course]. Luckily this Jap has access to cutting edge medical technology - a Feces Detector 3000. Kinda gross, but I find his dedication to 'safe sex' rather admirable.
What was once a sniper rifle is now a snubnose magnum. How'd that happen? Lemme guess... something involving farm animals and strategically placed peanut butter? It happens to the best of us.
Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.
I wish my parents had been as considerate in their choosing of a babysitter. For 7 years they stuck me with Ethiopian dyke that wore basketball attire exclusively. Nearly left me with an inverted penis.
Failure to achieve erection OR premature ejaculation. Those are the top 2 problems most men face when trying to perform on camera. It's usually one or the other... but in this chumps case - 2 birds are killed with 1 very tiny stone.
It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.
