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Extreme Anal Maintenance

If only my girlfriend shared her habits... maybe then I wouldn't end up with shit in my urethra 3 times a week.

07/01/09 Bizarre

1 Guy 1 Screwdriver

Poor fella. First his cornhole and now his jimmy jammy. Only one sexual organ left to destroy - el huevos. See ya in another 3 months buddy. Okay now all of you go join the eFukt forum. The dude in these videos posts on there. For realz.

04/19/09 Extreme

Guess What She Ate For Lunch

I'll give you a hint - it's a vegetable that shares it's name with an incredibly shitty nu metal band whose fans always wear black nail polish and amazingly have smaller penises than myself (sub 3.75 inches). This is too easy.

03/08/09 LULZ

Death By Vaginal Cockroach

This is from a Russian film called Philosophy Of A Knife. It's about the Japanese Unit 731... the one that pretty much spent a decade coming up with ridiculous ways to kill people.

11/19/08 Bizarre

His Dick Wasn't Big Enough

When your penis just can't get the job done, you gotta resort to other body parts. In this video the guy uses his foot, but keep in mind you can always skull fuck them too. Just shave your head 1st for the sake of hygiene.

11/07/08 Insertions

How To Fuck Like A King

Damn. I could really use some service like this. At 325 pounds, I'm lucky if I can even find my cock, let alone put it to use. Sign me up for 2, along with 4 beefcakes to handle all movement.

11/02/08 LULZ

Her Pussy Needs Stitches!

Cocks like this ought to be illegal, punishable by castration. Anything above 13 inches has got to go. They'll poke your eye out, prolapse your ass and leave with you a cocktail of STD's.

09/30/08 Bizarre

Dying Orgasm

Just close your eyes and listen to the audio. Only time I've heard a man make sounds like that was in Al-Qaeda beheading video. See more from this awesome couple here: 1, 2 and 3.

09/10/08 Orgasms

Gangbanged On Reality TV

This is fake. This isn't a real gameshow and she isn't in real pain. 3 inch penises make girls laugh, not cry. Trust me, I know.

09/06/08 Asians

Two Feet Of Pain

He's got me beat by like one inch. Okay maybe more like 23 inches. I couldn't even satisfy a midget. But where I lack in size, I make up for with class and charm.

09/04/08 Big Dicks

Oh Noes The Condom Broke!

I found this on some website that pays $2,000 for homemade porno. I'm kinda bummed... they rejected all 3 of my personal sextapes, citing that my 2 inch penis wouldn't appeal to general audiences. Ouch!

Pornstar Ruins Her Boob Job

Silicone is gonna start leaking out her nipples and in 3 days she'll be back to an A cup. I think that makes this the cheapest breast reduction surgery ever.

08/19/08 Fail

She Cant Feel His Small Dick

His snaggled toothed girlfriend can barely feel his cock so she keeps asking for it harder but she doesn't seem to realize that there is only so much you can do with 3 inches..

07/21/08 Amateur

One Pump Chump

Technically 3 pumps but who's counting. Anyway I strongly reject the stigma surrounding premature ejaculation. What do you stand to gain by lasting longer? The sooner you're done, the sooner you can go to fridge and eat leftovers. That's what I do.

06/14/08 Premature

Extraterrestrial Orgy

I decided to post that last bit of the ET sextape. Elliot is probably fapping to this right now, I know I am. See more alien porn HERE and HERE.

06/04/08 Parody

Unwanted Threesome

When this black guy was propositioned to fuck another mans wife, I don't think he knew that the husband himself planned on joining in. Pay close attention to the black dudes expression at the 30 second mark. He don't look too comfortable!

05/29/08 LULZ

Hotdog Down A Hallway

There's enough room in there for my penis, your penis and 3 black men's penises. Definitely not my favorite combination but hey, it fits.

05/08/08 Insertions

Orgasm Morphs Woman Into Beast

That man is lucky to be alive. She damn near bit his head off. I'll bet you anything she's related to this lady.

04/22/08 Orgasms

Stripper Attacked By Granny

I was considering being a stripper once but after realizing my clientele would consist of 300 pound senior citizens, I sought employment elsewhere.

02/24/08 Strippers

Keep Eating It!

Amateur has her pussy eaten out for the first time & has some insane orgasms. I wonder how she acts when she has her salad tossed?

01/17/08 Orgasms
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