I'm pretty sure I've just uncovered a new dialect. I shall dub it 'crackwhorian'. Much like Spanglish - it cannot be taught, only evoked. Japanese electronics and bull whip required.
A truly beautiful ballad about a girl that makes pterodactyl sex noises and a man that pulls off one of the most amazing sexual achievements ever filmed. I think we all wish we had a little Jimmy in us.
We got a pretty diverse group of fatherless degeneration this time around. Whether it's Discovery Channel's new poster girl at the 0:35 second mark, or the champ going for his 17th title at 4:20, you're guaranteed at least one reason to start day drinking again.
I've sat through 8 billion brother fucker incest storylines, the desecration of an icon and whatever the fuck this is. That being said, it's comforting to know I can still find astonishment in the super weeb fever dream you're about to witness. Good luck.
We're all too familiar with premature ejaculators, but what about latent ejaculation? Watch as Sum Dum Ho starts cumming an entire minute after intercourse is completed without even being touched. WTF?
Some of these cinnamon twist fuck chickens are kind of impressive. While most men will claim to inhale the caramel frappuccinos out of a 7/10 girl's shit basket just to say they were in the same room as them, these pioneers actually take action. This is the true duality of man.
Internet webcam hooker Bella Alice appears to suffer from acute reflex seizures triggered by sexual climax. She also uses a sound activated dildo that vibrates when people tip her which is funny af.
I don't know which ANTIFA rally that last girl ditched to shoot this scene, but her hygiene makes about as much sense as the 43,000 volts she pretends are running through her labia every time a guy named Ranjeete slaps down 50 Rupees on her "PubLiC cUmShOWs" ala Chaturbate.
LIFE LESSON #186: If your poker face is weaker than the walls of Alec Baldwin's rectum - stay the fuck out of the side-chick game. Last time I saw this level of angst in a female, I had to translate "yes, nickles are so a currency" into English for a Sudanese hooker. (thx Alexa)
Every dirty slut should know that a slippery fuck toy plus a cavernous butthole can equal a trip to the ER. Next time save yourself the embarrassing shuffle through the waiting room and tie a string to that mother fucker.
